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6 years 11 months ago
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So what can fans of Manchester Gloryhole expect? Well, the Hungarians goal-scoring record speaks for itself. For his Sunday team, he scored 27 goals in 11 appearances. For Warsaw, he found the net 13 times in 5 short games. At Milano Bilano, he played 90 games over 3 years, yet scored over 250 goals. It would be an understatement to say that he knows where the goal is.
“I just find it easy to score”, the six footer admits. When I get the ball, I look at the goal and shoot. Nothing fancy. I just shoot”. A simple philosophy, but when you consider his strike has been measured at over 140mph, it isn’t difficult to fathom is success.
But this success has also had it’s downside. Gulav has seriously injured 17 goalkeepers, and has even killed one - a fact that has been well documented during his career. Such is the force of his shots, many goalkeepers that fail to avoid contact with his strike meeting their skulls, ultimately pay a heavy price. Napoli Chunki Monki goalkeeper Alberto De De Donglio died when, during a game, a shot connected with the side of his face, instantly killing him. Gulav was so upset, he soiled himself on the pitch. Charges of murder were never brought.
“I was very sorry” sobs Gulav, “I was only playing football and I killed a man. I felt so sorry for his family, I felt obliged to marry his wife and help her bear more children. I changed my religion and now I have two wives”.
With Gulav due to make his debut against Liverpool Meerkat Whippers, his baptism into the highest level of British football will certainly be a fiery one. “I am looking forward to it”, nods the agreeable Hungarian, “I will try very hard to score and make it a good day for fans of Gloryholes”.
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