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6 years 11 months ago
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“Each time I swung the bat, the blood became finer”
MS EXCLUSIVE - Manchester Gloryhole FC’s new star gives no-holds-barred interview.
In an exclusive chat with MS, Manchester Gloryhole’s new sensational signing, Gulav Wasinovski reveals all about his life, loves and dark past. Dick Chase reports.
Gulav Wasinovski wasn’t always a world-class soccer star. As he explains, his life was very different until he was discovered 3 years ago.
“Yes, I had many jobs” explains the striker. “I have washed daffodil bulbs, I have dispensed medication in a high security mental hospital - I have even acted as a stuntman in Hollywood. I have doubled for Harrison Ford, Richard Gere and Julia Roberts”.
The much-travelled Hungarian also admits to having a dark past in regards of how he used to feed his family. “Yes, I did used to hunt baby seals for a while. It was easy. They would shuffle up to you with their big, round eyes looking up at you. When they made that cute mewing noise, you’d swing your bat in a wide arc and cave their skulls in. I usually found that each time I swung the bat, the blood became finer - like hitting a wet sponge with a frozen cucumber”.
But then, in 2004, he was spotted playing for his local Sunday side, Kravikwolsoli Sherpawapper and his life altered dramatically. He signed for Polish Champions Warsaw Krankowsliskiski and made only 5 appearances before he was snapped up by Italians Milano Bilano. Only 3 short years later and now he finds himself playing for one of the biggest teams in the world.
“Yes, when I heard that Dave Chutney wanted to sign me for Manchester, I was very flattered and excited. I bought a new wheelbarrow to celebrate. My family bought a cake and my dog soiled itself.”
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