• Horny Toad
    • 6 years 11 months ago
    • Posts: 598
    		 Ndoki Banga-Banga Fish Monkeys FC of the Republic Of The Congo have stunned the footballing community by signing a fully grown mountain gorilla as their preferred first choice goalkeeper.

    During the final game of last season, the gorilla - who is now named “Bruno” - was seen to wander onto the pitch as Ndoki played against rivals Petit Banan FC. Bruno proceeded to attack the Ndoki goalkeeper and chase him from the field of play. He then refused to move from the goalmouth area and stop any shot directed at him.

    Ndoki Banga Banga FC scoured the League Of West Africa rules and saw no mention of any rule that dictates that any player must be human. Since then, Bruno has been allocated a keeper, a trainer and a dietician. He has now played 6 games for the club, keeping a clean sheet in each game. Thankfully, attacks on opposition strikers has been kept to a minimum, with only one attacker, Denis De Sanoobedoobee dying from the injuries sustained from Bruno’s enormous fists. Bruno is not subject to disciplinary action, as he is a primate.

    Teams in Ndoki league are split over the bizarre signing. Some are vociferously against the signing of the animal. Brazzaville Howling Noirpigs have gone on strike in protest of the actions made by Ndoki, whilst teams such as Djambala Squirrels FC, Ouesso Lions FC and Impfondo Massamambamassa Mambas have embraced to idea of signing animals. Djambala have recently announced that they intend signing a giraffe for the midfield, whilst Impfondo and Ouesso have both entertained the idea of signing cheetahs in order to speed up their respective defensive outlooks.

    Neighbouring Cameroon has poured scorn on the idea of signing animals. Spokesman for the Cameroon Football Association, Eric N’Bragde said, “Signing animals? Is this a joke? How did you get this number?”, whilst manager of Yaounde Pirate Parrots, Ahmadou Kallawingnut insisted that playing on a field, “covered in the excrement of animals” was “unwise“.

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    • KRW
      • 6 years 11 months ago
      • Posts: 431
      • Globally Banned
      		 First, there's Koko, a gorilla who knows sign language, then there's Donkey Kong, who started his videogame carreer in 1981 by throwing barrels at Mario, now we've got Bruno, the gorilla goalie who might become the animal equivilant to Pele one day.
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      • System
        • 6 years 11 months ago
        • Posts: 74809
        		 In all honesty, this would bring the rise of soccer (football) in America higher. Apes make things so much better.
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        • 1234Life
          • 6 years 11 months ago
          • Posts: 15
          		 All we need now is a gorilla starring in his own sitcom. :)
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          • KRW
            • 6 years 11 months ago
            • Posts: 431
            • Globally Banned
            DebrisStorm wrote:
            Apes make things so much better.


            Like by throwing their shit at bystanders, just kidding :D . They pretty much got all the learning potential a human being has, to be serious.
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            • Jason43
              • 6 years 11 months ago
              • Posts: 1553
              • Account Disabled
              		 I'm only mildly interested in this story. If it were a midget-gorilla, I'd be positively "ape" shit right now. Zing!
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