• shadowprophet
    • 7 years 2 months ago
    • Posts: 236
    		 I don't write a lot, I wanted to do something fictional and short. I set down. Listened to some music. got inspired and came up with this.. I don't know if it sucks or not as I am not a writer. anyway, It would be interesting to see peoples opinions of it. :p

    A long time ago, In the distant past, In a time so long forgotten... Even the eldest Gods wonder if it was illusion or reality, All the stars in all the heavens met and became one. All energies entwined with each other, Even time itself was no exception, All things met and became one. All life and all things had forsaken the space the universe called its home. How the darkness wept for the lost love the stars used to shin upon it. No one knows how long the darkness was alone. eons, eternities, It was all the same as time its self had forsaken the dark empty space. Broken and alone the darkness became bitter. Its own pain manifest into vile beings that cursed and attacked the light. They celebrated their masters pain. For it gave them life. The Empty darkness so cold and lonely, Slept for a time...

    Who knows just how long the darkness slumbered, All eternity, Forever... Who can measure time and put worth upon it..The Darkness awoke to painful screams of torment, The vile creations Of the darkness. Had Attacked the light in It's slumber. And scattered its remains across all the dimension and space. So hurt was the darkness so bitterly and utterly destroyed was it's beautiful love the light. Everything That Gave it reason and perpess...Destroied By its own seed. So devastated was the darkness that Its own love and pain. sprang fourth from its essence and attacked the vile creatures. destroying all that stood in its way.

    Calm came over the universe. But the darkness still wept. In time the darkness slumbered once more. weeping and writhing in unbearable pain for its loss. Its tears became manifest into the Gods that rule the universe we know today.If you look up at the night sky, Some say you can still see the darkness crying in its sleep.


    Its' children have Grown up and had children of their own they have created new civilizations full of life all throughout eternity,for eons and eons.... Gods? Remnants of a fallen deities. Who's to say. What they are. What we are as their own creations. What will the darkness think when it awakens and sees a universe full of life that's its children created.. in loving memory of its Eternally slumbering mother.
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    • gumbyman
      • 7 years 2 months ago
      • Posts: 2009
      • Globally Banned
      		 I will say this much for you shadow this is a very deep peice of writing. I loved it, keep up the good work :D
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      • Hoogs
        • 7 years 2 months ago
        • Posts: 232
        		 Wow, that was deep. I don't quite understand it though...
        My YouTube Channel (commercials from the late 80s/early 90s):

        http://www.youtube.com/user/YourRetroCommercials/videos
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        • Timown
          • 7 years 2 months ago
          • Posts: 1619
          		 very deep, although some of the parts in the first paragraph sound a bit fractured, like a series of cool metaphors you've come up with, and put them all in. my only criticism though dude, otherwise, it's awesome!
          BLUE
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          • MattNash
            • 7 years 2 months ago
            • Posts: 4312
            • Account Disabled
            		 Other than grammer and sentence structure, you're pretty creative, keep practicing, and make sure to read alot as well. I'm a writter, myself, and I admit, it's difficult at times. It's kind of like going to the gym, the hardest part is making yourself go, but once you start, the creative juices just fly out like a fountain. I think you may have inpired me to post my own work on here.
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            • misspiggy
              • 7 years 2 months ago
              • Posts: 1470
              		 It was very creative. The only thing that I noticed that needs work is the second paragraph. It is a little confussing, maybe you could give some more insight into what you are trying to make people visualize in the second one.I wonder if I am imagining what you were.I loved the story line though. The first paragraph was great- It kinda describes a dream I had years ago.I was blown away when I read it. Keep up the good work.:)
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