Rabbi Goldberg: "Harold, I'm disturbed about two things. First of all, you stole. Stealing is against the law; Thou Shalt Not Steal."
Harold: "But I was hungry, Rabbi Goldberg!"
Rabbi Goldberg: "And secondly and most important, you stole a ham. Ham is not Kosher. Not Kosher at all. We don't eat ham. We haven't for 5,000 years and we don't need to start now." (He crosses his arms)
Harold: "I know! And I'm sorryyyyy!"
Rabbi Goldberg: "Yes. I know you're sorry because you did something that got you into trouble. But I don't think you understand why. When I was a young man about your age, I had a friend who admired a vest hanging in a tailor shop. It was a beautiful vest: Red velvet with gold buttons. He coveted that vest, Harold,...