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Quote O' Matic
Woman:"I want my money back! These shoes you sold me are as useless to me as a comb is to you. I've only worn them once and they split at the sides."
Al:"Well, let me explain, see it's just like an elevator, there's a two-ton weight limit on these shoes. What's say I nail the soles directly to your feet. It'll give you more traction when you're pulling the ice wagon."