Before the article proper begins, I must address this subject: There have been several retro crush articles in recent months. Complaints have been amassing about them and while I can't speak for others, I must say this about myself:

One of the aspects of my Aspergers' Syndrome is impaired social functions. This is what makes it difficult for me to make friends and, more importantly, form romantic relationships. While I see other people laughing with each other and couples in love kissing each other, I realize that I still have a long way to go before I can achieve that type of social success. Retro crush articles serve as a sort of catharsis. They allow me to pretend to be the person who has a natural magnetism about themselves that attracts people of all types. All I can do is strive to be that person, and until then, the women that I'm going to be talking about in this article serve as sort of an inspiration for me to achieve that goal.

Now, here's the main reason why I decided to do this article:

I had read gaijinninja's "Article Preview" for an upcoming piece on 80s movies. I was confused by the words and feelings...Mainly those relating to words like "cheesy". I stated my problems with the word and people started laughing at me and insulting me because of my feelings. This is nothing new...Many people I know online, from assholes to people who like me, have mocked me because of my problems with the word.

Because of this, I started an article called "Give It A Chance". I was planning on writing about 80s movies that I liked while others had mixed feelings about, but as I read what I had written so far, I realized that I was setting myself up for a flamewar of epic proportions. No matter what my feelings on the word "cheesy", it would've been wrong of me to act elitist, and I appear to have been giving off that perception in recent years.

As such, I have abandoned that article.

I have instead decided to do an article about my favorite 80s women. I've always felt that the decade had a great style to it, and the women showed it off the best (even though most of them look back on it now with annoyance). I know what you're thinking. "Caps, you covered a litany of them in 'Don't Call Me A Poser' and you've interviewed a few of them as well. How will you do this?"

Never underestimate the power of 80s fandom.

I'll be talking about a few women I've talked about in previous articles, but I'll be including new ones as well. I find that all of these women look good, and all have talent. A decent amount of discussion will based around looks, but I will also talk about specific examples of what I like about their 80s work.

This won't be a Top 10 article, firstly because I'll be talking about a lot more than 10 women, and secondly, because to rank one higher than another would be a disservice to each one of them.

Also, I would like to say that this is MY list. It is not a definitive list by any means whatsoever, for there are many 80s women I've yet to learn about. Your thoughts are all welcome.

This is a very long article, so you don't have to read it all in one sitting if you don't want to.

With that, here we go.

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To start me off, I would like to mention Michelle Pfeiffer.



I found this picture while looking up threads about her on several various message boards.

Before I get into talking about her, I came across this interesting fact on the IMDB:

"There was a study done of the faces of beautiful women, quantifying the ratio of the width of the mouth to the width of the nose, attempting to find the perfect proportions for the perfect face of feminine beauty (the ratio turns out to be something like 1.7). The movie star with the most perfect proportions for feminine facial beauty, based on this measure, turns out to be Michelle Pfeiffer."

I definitely agree with this assessment. Pfeiffer is probably one of the reasons why I find blondes so alluring. She looked great in so many 80s movies.

You can't talk about her and 80s movies without mentioning her role as Elvira Montana in "Scarface".



In the movie, Tony Montana (Al Pacino) mentions her eyes. Those eyes are so stunning. In the above picture, you can see her staring at Tony with a look that says "I'm just as tough as you are". At the same time, those eyes speak of the wounds that have accrued throughout her life.

I also liked her in the 1985 movie "Into The Night".



In that movie, she played a woman named Diana, who takes a cuckolded and bored man named Ed Okin (Jeff Goldblum) on an adventure through L.A that involves stolen diamonds and Middle Eastern thugs.

I've often wondered what it would be like to go on an adventure with a beautiful woman. I could be a hero and do grand things to win my companion's love. Until such a time arrives, I have movies like this to enjoy. Oh, and she gets naked in this movie, too!

I mentioned Michelle's eyes. That leads me to mention the following: I've always been fascinated by how women looked in the 80s. Many women who saw the 80s first-hand look back on the styles with a sense of either shame, ironic mockery, or a medium between the two. Me? I think they looked fine.

As such, I've started collecting beauty videos from the 80s. Women would buy videos for make-up and fashion tips in the 80s, and I enjoy these videos as an examination of what the looks of the 80s were defined as.

One of the best videos of this kind was a video called "Donna Mills: The Eyes Have It".



She starred on the famed nighttime soap "Knots Landing", which was one of the glamorous night-time shows that came to define the Reagan era, even though it began in Jimmy Carter's term (to be specific, 1979) and ended the year Bill Clinton entered office (1993). I've never seen an episode of the show, so I can't comment on her character or the plots. What I can go on is "The Eyes Have It". Donna had stunning eyes...The kind that could shoot across the room and nail you in your heart. As such, she shows off her make-up techniques in this video, and she makes her eyes look good. I can imagine many of you out there making ironic comments about 80s make-up, but it was the style of the times, so give it a rest. Would you like it if I made fun of the grunge fashions of the 90s?

Another 80s babe with stunning eyes and great babeosity as well would have to be Sheena Easton.



In several past articles, I've talked about the CD "Only Dance: 1980-1984". That disc also served as my first introduction to Sheena Easton. To be specific, the song I first heard was "Strut". That song had a great sense of sensuality to it. She was basically telling her lover to show his stuff, and if I had been that guy, I gladly would've done so.

Several years later, I was introduced to the song "Sugar Walls".



The song, written by Prince, was a song about...Well, it was a song about Sheena Easton's vagina. The song sounded tremendously erotic and inviting, talking about "blood racing to your private spots" and describing it as "Heaven On Earth". She looked great in the video, too, as evidenced by the above photo. Those lips are so indescribably hot, and I like the yellow outfit she wore, with those matching earrings as well. Great stuff.

Now I would like to talk about my favorite Bond Girl of the 80s...Tanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton in "A View To A Kill".



In Roger Moore's final outing as James Bond, he fights an evil industrialist named Max Zorin (Christopher Walken), who plans on flooding Silicon Valley.

Sutton was a geologist and formerly an heiress to an oil company. She turned down a deal with Zorin that would've seen her get a lot of money in exchange for her shares in the company.

Sutton and Bond first meet at Zorin's European estate, which is hosting a horse auction. Conscious of his identity while figuring out a murder that Zorin was involved in, Bond identifies himself to Sutton as James Syngen Smythe. She doesn't seem that impressed by him.

The truth finally comes out when Bond gets to San Francisco and assists Sutton in finding incriminating evidence on Zorin. On the brink of being arrested for a crime he was framed on, Bond reveals his true identity, shocking Stacey and causing the police not to believe him.

This is my favorite part involving Stacey: The duo get away from the police in a fire truck, with Bond on top and Stacey behind the wheel. It's interesting and strangely attractive seeing her behind the wheel, since she looks so little while the fire truck is so enormous. The chase is wonderful, especially when she drives the firetruck over a bridge just as it's opening. She comes down on the other side, and the police cars chasing them slide down the bridge and crash into each other.

Sutton was quite a good character. I liked this movie. Many people hated it, including Roger Moore himself, but I enjoyed it. I should break out my copy of it again soon.

The next lady on the docket is one of my favorite beauties from the show "Night Court", and it's not who you're thinking.



While I have no problems with Markie Post, I preferred Ellen Foley. In the 1984-1985 season, she essayed the role of D.A Billie Young. This is the problem, though. I can't really remember anything about her character, but I think that sort of reflects how the show was at the time. It was tremendously entertaining, but it was still an underground thing. It was very much a quiet program and I guess Foley's character was quiet as well. That's rather odd to me, considering that 7 years earlier she was asking Meat Loaf the following questions: "Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away? Will you make me your wife?"

From New York in 1984, let's take a jump to California in 1982 and the next woman on my list, Ms. JoBeth Williams.



For all my 80s knowledge, I don't know if the term MILF was being used in the 80s, but if it was, I think that JoBeth Williams would be the perfect example of one. For me, that's best evidenced in the 80s classic "Poltergeist".



In this movie, Williams played the character Diane Freeling. She and her husband Steve (Craig T. Nelson) were former hippies who ended up changing once the Age Of Aquarius had passed on.

A brief detour for a moment: Yuppie was a slang term for the phrase Young Urban Professional. That puzzled me because many Yuppies were well into their 30s when the term came into usage, and the 30s isn't exactly a young age.

Anyway, the Freelings still maintain a loose aura under the tight-wrapped corporate cover. Diane is the best evidence of this. When we first see her, she's singing a beer commercial jingle. Later on, we see Diane and Steve becoming one with the universe by smoking some herb, which demonstrates that there's a free-spirited duo just waiting to bust out of the suburbs they live in. They do bust out eventually, but you would too if your neighborhood become a supernatural war zone.

I would now like to mention Belinda Carlisle and Jane Wiedlin.



In my article "Don't Call Me A Poser", I talked about joining Columbia House. My memory had failed me. I didn't join in 1999. I actually joined in 1998. I recall this because I purchased a Belinda Carlisle album from them. It was a Greatest Hits compilation, featuring much of her work up until the early 90s. The 80s tracks are what I enjoyed the most, though.

My favorite upbeat track from the album was "Mad About You". It expressed a great feeling of exhilaration in love. I was heavily in love with my girlfriend, and this song reflected how I felt about her at the time. I enjoyed spending all the time that I could with her. We spent time at her house playing the Nintendo 64 and we went out to various movies that were playing. It was a great feeling that would end up fading away, but you all know the story on that one.

She was also great at performing mid-tempo songs as well. My favorite song by her along those lines would have to be "Circle In The Sand".



The song had a great sense of mystery about it. It's the type of a song that makes you think about what you've left behind and whether you can find it again. Listening to the lyrics, I'm envisioning Belinda singing about how a Summer's end could never stop the love she found in that glorious season.

I love her work. I should pick up some of her more recent stuff. She recently did an album of French music and I heard that she acquits herself quite nicely with the language.

Let's move on to Belinda's former Go-Gos bandmate Jane Wiedlin. She created some of the 80s' most upbeat tunes. My favorite tune by her is the little-known song "Inside A Dream".



The song is a very inspiring piece. It basically talks about how difficult life can be, and how dreams can somwtimes be the only thing that keeps you going. When she says dreams, I don't think she's talking about what happens in your sleep. I think she's talking about things you imagine when you're having a rough day.

You know the drill: You're at work, you can hear the rain pounding on the ground, you can feel a manager breathing down your neck and sense a co-worker you hate getting ready to go up your ass. You look for any sort of escape you can, and a dream can provide that. Whether it's as simple as a vacation to a tropical island or as complex as getting an award for something you're talented at, it's good to have something that can help you through your day. That's what I think the best kind of dream is...The one that provides you with a sense of peace and calm, if only for a few moments.

Another dark-haired 80s singer I like is Martika.



I first heard the song "Toy Soldiers" back in, I think, 1999. I owned a Billboard CD of music that was on that magazine's charts in 1989, and this song was on there. I loved it...It had a great sense of drama to it as Martika sang of the ravages of drug addiction. You could sense the self-loathing and fear in her voice as she sang:

"It's getting hard to wake up in the morning. My head is spinning constantly...How can it be? How could I be so blind to this addiction? If I don't stop, the next one is gonna be me."

I often make note of how songs can sound cinematic, and this is one of those pieces that could make the set-up for a good movie. Murder, despair, the thousand-mile stare...These are the things that come to mind through her vocalizing.

On a different tack, I also enjoy the music of Swing Out Sister, and I especially like the group's front woman Corrine Drewery.



To me, this picture has a rather Nagel-like quality to it. As a former fashion designer, Drewery knew about style, and the look carried through to Swing Out Sister's videos. My favorite video by them would have to be "Breakout". The song basically says "Take charge, get up and go, have some fun", and those sentiments are reflected in the video, which starts out in dreary black-and-white but then grows more colorful as Drewery and her bandmates get out colorful fabrics and creating cool designs. At the end, Drewery takes on modeling duties and comes out looking absolutely stunning.

The next lady on my list is the one and only Phoebe Cates.



When she stepped out of that pool in "Fast Times At Ridgemont High", her body rocked 80s sensuality to the core. She had an indescribable look about her that...Well, I said it was indescribable. I wish I could say more about her, but so much has already been said by people older and wiser than me, so I'll just echo their sentiments and say that she is one of the best-looking babes of the 80s.

One of my favorite 80s movies is "Trading Places", and two women in the movie really helped me to enjoy it, on both comedic and physical levels. Those two women were Jamie Lee Curtis and Kristin Holby.



The plotline is a variation on "The Prince And The Pauper". Dan Aykroyd plays a young financial tyro named Louis Winthorpe III, while Eddie Murphy plays a streetwise con artist named Billy Ray Valentine. Winthorpe's bosses, the Duke Brothers (Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy), decide to play God and switch Louis and Billy to settle the "nature versus nurture" debate and its' effects on finance. With the assistance of a crook named Clarence Beeks (Paul Gleason), Louis hits the streets and Billy hits the heights.

Holby (pictured on the right side of the screen) plays the Dukes' niece and Winthorpe's soon-to-be wife Penelope. She has a great body...Unfortunately, it contains a vapid mind. Holby embodies the stereotype of the callous, rich young person, thinking that the world is their oyster. This makes her a perfect match for Louis at the beginning, but when the bet goes into effect, Louis is framed for embezzlement and drug dealing. He loses his house, his butler Coleman (Denholm Elliot), his money, his belongings, and eventually, his mind.

This is where Jamie Lee Curtis' character comes into play.

Curtis plays a hooker named Ophelia. She's paid by Beeks to shatter Louis' relationship with Penelope by pretending to be a junkie who'll do anything to get some drugs from Louis.

When Penelope stamps off, Ophelia reveals why she did what she did. After Louis goes to his old haunts and finds everything he has taken from him, Ophelia takes him in. The deal she cuts with him is that in return for him living in her apartment, he has to help her with finanical tips.

My favorite physical moment involving her is when she takes off her shirt. She has a great natural body, but when she catches Louis looking, she covers her chest and says "Food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money".

Billy ends up finding out about the bet, and he catches up with Louis. Once everything works itself out, the duo decide to give the Dukes a taste of their own medicine. The Dukes stand to make a killing on the frozen orange juice market with assistance from Beeks, but Billy, Louis, Ophelia and Coleman decide to throw the scheme overboard.

Beeks is headed to New York with the crop report, and the train he uses is also being used for a New Years' Eve celebration. As Beeks gets into his cabin, the four friends enter the cabin in disguise in order to switch the reports on him.

This sequence involves my favorite comedic sequence with Ophelia.

First, Billy enters as a beef-jerky eating exchange student from Cameroon. Next, Coleman enters as a whiskey-drinking Irish priest. The best disguise is Ophelia's. She plays a leggy hiker from Sweden, although Beeks thinks she looks Swiss. I love the exaggerated accent she uses, and the shorts she's wearing prove that she has great legs as well. Finally, Louis enters in blackface as a ganja-smoking Jamaican. While the group engage in various hijinks, they swap the briefcases. Beeks sees the swapping going on, and pulls out a gun. He takes them through the party cabin at gunpoint. They end up in the back of the train standing catty-corner to a gorilla. All of a sudden, a party-goer in a gorilla suit (Jim Belushi) interrupts the stand-off. After both Beeks and the party-goer are knocked out, the group decides to do a little switching. They put Beeks into the gorilla suit, which causes the party-goer to re-enter the party cabin in his boxers and wife-beater T-shirt.

When the group gets to New York, they split up. Billy and Louis go to Wall Street while Ophelia and Coleman get a drink.

After Billy and Louis pull off their scheme, the group ends up in the tropics. The last time we see Ophelia, she's wearing a white bikini and wearing it well.

As for Penelope? Forget her. I would rather hang out with Ophelia. She seems a lot cooler and down to Earth.

I know I've pretty much told the story of the movie, but don't let that dissuade you from seeing it. The movie is funny as all get-out, and you'll get to see the scenes I'm talking about in the flesh (no pun intended).

The next woman on my list is a singer named Toni Childs.



When I was on eBay, I saw that her CD "Union" was being sold at a rather inexpensive price with the Buy It Now option. To assuage whether I would like to buy the disc, I went to YouTube and looked up some of her songs. The one I chose was "Walk And Talk Like Angels". I listened to the song and visions came into my head...Visions of a beautiful couple sipping drinks by the pool on a tropical island, a woman in white walking down a beach as wind blows in off the sea, the adrenaline of a primal rhythm causing a dance, a mad sort of a twirl under the night skies, stars reflecting on the water as the wine flows like the rapids through the mountains. Her music has a quality of nature to it...A wild, untamed nature untouched by the outside world.

I would recommend tracking down the CD if you can.

The next woman on my list is one of the best women to ever grace an 80s poster. I'm referring to Carol Alt.



I had purchased this poster on eBay during the mad shopping spree that caused me to lose all the money in my checking account in 2000. The poster had hung up on my wall at home from 2000 to 2001. I had bought the poster with me to college. During my brief time there, the poster had parts of it torn off due to the fact that i had to use tape instead of thumbtacks in order to get it to hang up. Upon leaving, I took everything with me. The Carol Alt poster basically remained in bad condition.

I had wanted to hang it up again, but not in the condition it had come in. I decided to go on eBay once more (under the account I had formed a few months after I lost my first one) and look up the poster. I won it at a pretty decent price, and when it arrived, I put it on a wall in my newly painted room.

I'm stunned at Alt's body in this picture. Those curves are stunning. I could easily imagine balancing a glass of wine anywhere on that body. It's definitely the kind of body you could bounce a quarter off of.

I should really look into seeing if there are any other posters of her on eBay.

The next woman on my list is the lead singer of the Bangles, Susanna Hoffs.



The picture above came from her 1987 movie "The Allnighter". In that movie, she played a woman about to graduate college who has to resolve some issues before she enters the real world. I really liked the scene in the movie where she was in her bra and panties dancing to "Respect" by Aretha Franklin. I think she was a good actress and she had a good body, but that isn't what made her famous.

Her work with The Bangles is what really made her the 80s star she was. I'm a fan of the group's work, and I especially liked the songs where Hoffs had a primary part in the vocals. My favorite song by her on that front is "If She Knew What She Wants".



The song is a bit complex. It's basically about a woman who can't decide what it is that she wants out of life, and how maybe her man could provide what she needs for her. What is it that she wants, though? Maybe she wants something as complex as love, as expensive as diamonds or as tasty as a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

Hoffs' vocals are also interesting as well. Is she speaking as the friend of the woman who doesn't know what she wants, or is she speaking as the woman herself? What's even more interesting is that the song was originally written from a guy's perspective. The man was basically saying if she could decide what she wants, I can give it to her. The original version was by a man named Jules Shear. I saw him perform this on YouTube, and I thought that, although it was written by him, he just didn't perform it as well as The Bangles did.

On the other hand, I had mentioned Ellen Foley in this article. She was a member of a group called Pandora's Box. This band performed a bunch of songs by Jim Steinman on a 1989 album called "Original Sin". One of the songs on that album was a song called "It's All Coming Back To Me Now", performed by another member named Elaine Caswell. Most people are familiar with the version performed by Celine Dion, but Pandora's Box recorded it first. The thing is, it was actually written for Meat Loaf to be performed on the second "Bat Out Of Hell" album, but he and Steinman had some issues with each other that took a while to be resolved.

Many of Meat Loaf's fans rejoiced when he finally performed his version of the song on the 3rd "Bat Out Of Hell" album, but I heard his version, and although it may have been originally written for him, Pandora's Box stomps on his version any day of the week.

Now we're going to do a bit of a chain-link here. I hope I can make the connections work properly.

One of my favorite 80s bands is a group called Face To Face (not to be confused with the punk group of the same name). The lead singer of the group was a woman named Laurie Sargent.



Sargent is the woman in the bottom left hand corner. I really like her vocals. She can switch from slow to fast in the blink of an eye.

My favorite mid-tempo piece by the group is a song called "10-9-8". The song is about Sargent talking to her lover about what they go through. It seems like she wants to break away, but at the same time, her lover keeps drawing her back in:

"10-9-8, I'm always counting down.
You feel the pressure when you're under that gun.
6-5-4, I'm always counting down.
Isn't it funny I'll never get to 1?"

Her vocalizing expresses the sentiments of the song...Not knowing where to go, wanting to leave but wanting to stay also, the issues that can be found in love.

My favorite fast-paced song by the group is "Under The Gun". The beat of the song sounds like the type of tune you would listen to as you zoomed down an empty desert road, hood down, wind blowing through your hair, feeling free.

If you listen to the lyrics, though, you'll hear a tale of a woman trying to survive the chaos of the world, best expressed in a rap Laurie does:

"Shot for shot, search for escape,
From a city of fire and the cries of rape,
You got red lights flashing in the zone,
When boy meets girl, two hearts atone.
Blind man walking with his cane,
You got a lady with a bag and she got no name.
Burned-out buildings, burned-out lives,
Where burned-out hearts just can't survive.
It looks just like Sodom and Gomorrah.
The rulers are evil, the days are getting shorter.
There's talk of Armageddon, never heard the call.
Took no time to read the writing on the wall.
On the 7th day, 7 times around,
Like the walls of Jericho, it's all coming down.
It's all coming down, it's all coming down.
Like the walls of Jericho, it's all coming down.
The party is over, the world's on the run,
We're all living under the gun".

My transcribing the lyrics doesn't really work. You have to listen to the song itself. Sargent's vocals fire off in machine-gun blasts that mirror the lyrics of the song.

Sargent was a member of a group called Fire Inc., which provided the vocals of the group Ellen Aim And The Attackers in the 1984 cult classic "Streets Of Fire". The lead vocals for the songs were primarily done by a singer named Holly Sherwood, but unfortunately, I couldn't really find any pictures of her. Either way, though, the group's vocals found a great body in the form of Diane Lane, who played Ellen Aim.



Lane mimics the stylings of a rock star quite well. Her lip-synching is spot-on and she does a great job with the arm movements and the grand gestures that go along with the music of the aforementioned Jim Steinman, who composed the group's two songs "Nowhere Fast" and "Tonight Is What It Means To Be Young". Lane mimics the latter song quite well, bringing all the physical energy a song like this provides. I read that Lane actually has a pretty good singing voice herself, but they chose not to use it. It's a shame, really...I think she might have great with this song.

One of the highlights of "Streets Of Fire" would have to be the scene where a woman in skimpy clothing dances to the song "One Bad Stud" by The Blasters.

The woman's name was Marine Jahan, better known as Jennifer Beals' dance double in "Flashdance".



It isn't the best picture of her, I know, but it's difficult to find good pictures of her. She was somewhat of an unknown entity, but she had a great dancer's body. Supple legs, a firm upper body, a haircut that allowed for freedom to move with less risk of tripping over yourself...Very well-sculpted. Her dancing in "Streets Of Fire" was great. The way she wore the torn T-shirt was amazing. I rewound that scene several times just to watch the sinuous movements of her body.

Of course, "Flashdance" is what she'll be most remembered for working on. The movie was very enjoyable with a great soundtrack and a great performance by Jennifer Beals.



What I like about her performance is that she really expresses the struggle in the script. Her character, Alex, has a very big dream. Her dream is to become a professional dancer. Her training ground is a bar in her town that has dancers who don't really strip so much as do interpretive dance. Strobe lights and kabuki make-up are typical elements to be found in this bar, but Alex doesn't want to be doing this forever, and she eventually receives an audition with a prestigious dance company, where she impresses the judges with dancing that's not only traditional, but also (80s) contemporary.

Beals has a winning personality and a face that expresses all the emotions one goes through when trying to achieve their dream. I also think that she looks great with the off-the-shoulder sweatshirt. I would often work that look into stories I wrote in my high school years. Movies like "Flashdance" gave me a strong inspiration on many fronts, from the emotional to the written. I've lost most of those stories now, but I do have the movie itself. I'll need to take it out soon.

I've written about this next woman many times over the years, but when I last wrote about her in an article, I hadn't known what I was talking about.



Yes, I'm talking about Kathleen Turner. In my article "Don't Call Me A Poser!", I said that I was unaware that "she had gained weight" and that "her voice had gone from a smoky female voice to a nearly manly rasp". I discovered why that happened a short while after I wrote the article.

Ms. Turner has been battling rheumatoid arthritis for a long time, and the weight gain is the result of the steroids she's taken in order to deal with her condition. I don't know how the voice came about its' lowering, but I think that smoking might have had something to do with it. I wish I had known then what I know now about her condition.

Anyway, I finally got around to watching "Body Heat", and Turner was definitely the apex of sex in that movie. From the moment that lawyer Ned Racine (William Hurt) sees her standing on a pier, with a cigarette in her mouth and jazz music playing in the background, you know that this is a woman who is not to be trifled with. She'll manipulate you, seduce you with her voice and ravish you with her body, get you to do things you wouldn't dream of doing, and then drop a dime on you in a blink of an eye. A vision of darkness walking in a white wrapping, Turner's performance will have you checking your pulse AND watching your back.

One of the best artists for music videos in the 80s was Janet Jackson. Her videos had a great design to them, with wonderful choreography and nice style. The best video she did on this front would have to be for her song "The Pleasure Principle".



The song is one about saying to your ex-lover "Get the fuck out...Your time is up!". It's a song about going solo, and the music video expresses those sentiments quite well. In the video, Jackson enters an empty warehouse and starts performing some amazing dance moves. I'm stunned at Jackson's footwork in this video. In one scene, she does a flip onto the ground from a rather high crate, and in the video's most famous scene, she makes a run for a chair and leaps onto it, with one foot touching the front of the chair and the other foot touching the back. She does a spectacular leap to the ground, and if that doesn't get you dancing alongside her, I don't know what will.

I'm a fan of Jodie Foster's work, and her looks and talent came together well in one of the most underrated movies of the 80s: A film called "Stealing Home".



The movie is about a disgraced baseball player named Billy Wyatt (Mark Harmon), who is charged with the disposal of the ashes of a very important woman in his life. That woman's name was Katie Chandler (Foster). Although there was a great age difference between them and they did have several issues through the years, she was the first great love of Billy's life, encouraging him to live life to the fullest, while trying to deal with the chaos of her own life.

In this movie, Foster is the embodiment of the older person that everybody has a crush on while growing up. I've known several women like Katie in my life. They've helped me and made me feel good, but they fade away as surely as the night becomes day and the day becomes night.

One of the highlights of this movie is the love theme "And When She Danced" by David Foster and the next woman on my list, Marilyn Martin.



The duet tells the story of the movie, and in a way, tells of love unrealized, of the person who touches your life for one brief moment and stays with you for the rest of your life, even though they've moved on physically. Martin's vocals become almost flesh-and-blood. You can see the tears on her face as she stares out onto that ocean that expands forever and a day, forever thinking about the lives she's touched.

When I hear her voice in the song, I think of those women who I cared for, but could never truly know of due to my Aspergers' and the climates I've been in. It's a wonderful song, and Martin is a wonderful singer.

As mentioned, the song was written, produced and co-sang by David Foster. Foster did a lot of work with theatrical rock group The Tubes in the 80s. One of the albums he worked on was 1983's "Outside Inside", which featured a guest appearance by another favorite of mine, singer Martha Davis.



Davis was the lead singer of The Motels, well known for songs like "Only The Lonely". Davis has a wonderful voice. When I think of the term "blue-eyed soul", Davis is one of the women who comes to mind. Her vocals sizzle, the voice a caress of fire burning the motherfucker down. Nowhere was this more evident than her guest vocals on "Outside Inside". She and lead singer Fee Waybill teamed up for a cover of a 60s R&B tune called "The Monkey Time". The song was ostensibly about the dance known as The Monkey, but it could also be interpreted as a song about primal sexuality...Raw, unfettered sizzle. When I hear the spoken word part where Fee and Martha are talking about the excitement of doing the dance, I hear Martha's vocals and I'm like "There is no way this woman is white".

Very well-done vocals from a very good singer.

Fee Waybill would regularly work with Richard Marx once he left The Tubes. They would collaborate in several ways, mostly in vocals, but occasionally in song-writing. One of the songs they worked on together was a piece called "Edge Of A Broken Heart", which was performed by the beautiful and talented late-80s group Vixen.



I don't think of them as metal...I think of them as pop rock. Many people used the term "hair metal" to describe this genre. To me, metal is stuff like Anthrax and Slayer. I call the music of artists like Vixen pop rock because, yes, there are guitars and drums in there, but the lyrics aren't about "heavy" themes like politics and religion...They're about matters like love gone wrong, the need to party, the things we do during our off-time to take our minds off whatever we go through during the 9 to 5, hoping to 69 at 420, but knowing our bosses tend to be 666 and capable of a 187.

Anyway, Vixen. The 4 members of the group were Janet Gardner on vocals and guitar, Jan Kuehnemund also on guitar, Roxy Petrucci on drums and Share Pederson on bass. All 4 of them helped bring the lyrics of "Edge Of A Broken Heart" to life. Janet flips the digits to her ex-lover and she, Jane and Share let the guitars wail while Roxy's drumming represents Janet's footsteps out the door. They did a similar track called "Cryin'" which, contrary to the title, is about moving on with your head held high. I could easily imagine a guy singing this...It's a very unisex song.

This line-up of the group would split in 1991. Gardner and Petrucci would reunite in 1997 and after another line-up change, the duo bought in Gina Stile on guitar and Rana Ross on bass for an album called "Tangerine". It sounded nothing like Vixen's 80s work, and after having heard some samples of it on Amazon.com, I didn't like it. It had too much of a grunge sound, and that's always annoyed me. I never cared much for grunge, if only because the music reminds me all too much of Hellish times during my youth, but I get annoyed when I see Twisted Sister's Dee Snider saying he was glad that grunge came along, disturbed when I hear Pat Benatar saying Nirvana rocked, puzzled when reading that Motley Crue hired former Hole drummer Samantha Maloney as a ringer while Tommy Lee was out doing some solo work...It goes on and on. I occasionally feel like I enjoy 80s music more than the singers themselves.

I enjoy pop rock, and I also enjoy pop tarts as well. Those are female singers who specialize in pop music while projecting a very lusty image. Many of these singers tended to be European, like the next woman I'll be talking about, an Italian singer named Sabrina Salerno.



I first heard her track "Boys" when I had purchased a dance mix tape at Music Music Music in late Spring/early Summer of 2000. The music had a sunny quality to it. It's the sort of song you mix up some trash can punch to and really get your party on with. Similar ideas were shown in the music video for this song.

I heard good things about this video, and I finally got around to seeing it in 2006 or so, during my first few months on YouTube. In the video, Sabrina is singing the song while dressed in a get-up similar to the one in this picture:



As she's singing about crushing on the guys she likes, she becomes so pneumatic that she ends up getting out of her top. She was like the Italian Samantha Fox, only Sabrina was willing to show it off as oppose to dressing skimpy. Much of it did have to do with image, but I thought she was a good singer. Music like this is about having a good time, and when I hear the music of artists like her, I'm having a wonderful time far away from the bitter colds of New York.

I like it when a woman plays an instrument as well as sings. One of my favorite singers in this aspect would have to be singer and saxophonist Rindy Ross of Quarterflash.



The pictures don't exactly provide the best view of her face, but I think she has a great look about her. Her dark hair frames her face quite well and her body is very athletic. When you're doing what she does, you need that energy.

The pictures come from two of my favorite Quarterflash videos. The picture on the left is from the video for "Harden My Heart" while the picture on the right comes from the video for "Walking On Ice".

The song "Harden My Heart" is another song about moving on from the one who wronged you. This theme has been popping up a lot in this article and I'm trying to figure out why that is. If I were to make a guess, I'd say that maybe it has something to do with the sexual politics of the time. This song was released in 1982 and AIDS was starting to really make an impact on the world. The seeds that were planted with the free love of the 60s and the hedonism of the 70s were now producing bitter fruit on blood-red vines. Cheating has always been around, but the results were becoming really deadly in the early 80s. To me, Ms. Ross is singing from the perspective of a woman who is not only sullied by the callous behaviors of her lover, but also knowledgeable about the matter of the world at large and fearful of what might be in store for her if she stays with her cheating boyfriend.

My interpretation of this theme continues through to the song "Walking On Ice". I also think of the hazards of love with this piece, but I hear it as being sung from the perspective of a woman who is well aware of the dangers that can happen in love, but continues to stand by her man anyway.

It all comes out in the lyrics:

"I walk on ice, I play with fire.
For loving you, babe, I dance on wire.
I can't sleep at night, everyday I pay that price.
Loving you is like walking on ice."

Love is wonderful, but it can be dangerous at the same time. You can love someone, yet at the same time, never truly know what they're about. It's difficult to maintain a balance between love and suspicion. The fact that so many of us are able to do so is amazing. Some of us can do it better than others, but everyone is capable of it if they try...Even Aspies.

Another favorite 80s R&B singer of mine is Jody Watley.



For me, her best entry into the canon of female toughness would have to be the song "Looking For A New Love".

What makes it for me are her vocals. As she sings about getting out there and making herself known, she has a great sound to her voice. Her voice carries a nice tone to it...If a middle finger could be expressed through sound, then it would sound like Jody Watley.

I also think she has a great sense of style. In the book "Totally Awesome 80s", author Matthew Rettenmund talks about Watley and makes a joke about her big hoop earrings. I don't make jokes about it...I think that's some pretty cool jewelry she has. You don't see stuff like that all that often nowadays. Wildness manifests itself in other ways in today's music scene. Still, it would be great if someone could bring back the big earrings look.

This song also provided the writers of "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" with some inspiration. In the song, Watley speaks the following lines:

"Now you're like the rest...Unworthy of my best. Hasta la vista, baby!"

Sound familiar? This song was performed in 1987, and the makers of T2 appropriated it several years later. If I were to hear Schwarzenegger singing this song, I think it would be...Interesting.

The next woman on my list is one who most people associate with the 90s. Her name is Christina Amphlett, lead singer of The Divinyls.



Most people associate the Divinyls with the 90s due to their most famous song "I Touch Myself". The group had been around long before that, though. I was inspired to pick up some of their work after seeing the video for 1985's "Pleasure And Pain" from the "What A Thrill" album on VH1 Classic. The picture of Amphlett comes from this video.

In the video, Amphlett takes on a sexually charged look. She crawls around the floor, thrashes her body to and fro and has a look on her face that says both "fuck me" and "fuck you". Her eyes shoot daggers as her voice both caresses and snarls the lyrics of this sexually-charged song.

What kind of charge is it, though? Listening to the lyrics, I detect a sense of the phrase "nice guys finish last". Many women don't get around to liking calm and collected types until they're older. When they're younger, they crave the strength and heat of a bad-ass man. I'm talking about the kind of a man who drives a Harley, slugs down whiskey like water and eats broken glass like potato chips. Many women both fear and love these kinds of men.

Sex and violence...They're different, yet sometimes they can be the same.

Speaking of the two, another one of my favorite 80s babes would have to be Alexandra Paul in the 1983 classic "Christine".



In this movie, Paul plays a young woman named Leigh Cabot. She's a newcomer at the school where the movie's protagonist Arnie Cunningham (Keith Gordon) goes to. Now, Cunningham is a very bullied individual, so his chances of ever having anything to do with a woman like Cabot is next to nothing, but as his car works its' peculiar brand of Satanic magic upon Arnie, all of a sudden he's a well-like stud and Leigh is his girlfriend.

What I like about Alexandra's character in this movie is that she's the one who ends up destroying the car, with a little assistance from Arnie's friend Dennis (John Stockwell). I wouldn't say it's a matter of jealousy...I think it has more to do with the fact that she can see what others can't. Others think that Arnie committed all the murders of his own volition...It's like she was the only one who was aware that the spirit of the car had possessed him, the only one aware that he was merely the pawn in a cosmic battle between good and evil. Alexandra looked great in this movie...She was very wholesome and nice, not really the kind of person you might imagine to get down and dirty when the time would come to do so. I like strong women...I think they're cool.

I like strong women, and I also like women who know how to party. None exemplified the two together better than Lita Ford with 1988's "Kiss Me Deadly".



From all that I've seen, the 80s had a very young feel about it...A certain attitude that, if only for a few minutes, be those minutes of a song or a movie, encouraged wild abandon in the face of an uncertain future. This was the kind of music that people used as an escape from the drudgery of work and school.

This is another example of pop rock. Although it had a peppy sound, it carried with it a sense of "fuck you...It's my night to howl". Cruising through the night in your best friend's car, fueled by soda (or beer, depending on how old you are), pretending that it's a hot evening on the Sunset Strip even if it's a freezing Winter night in upstate New York...I wish I could come across others who enjoy this genre with sincerity instead of mockery. Hell, even the pop-rockers themselves seem ashamed of what they once performed, yet they continue to perform it, anyway. I would rather listen to a pop-rock band than a grunge band any day of the week, even if the pop-rockers themselves would prefer to listen to grunge music over their own stuff.

I loved Lita's late 80s look. Her towering blonde hair, a seductive yet ferocious look on her face, and tight clothing, especially the pants she wore. Damn, she had a great ass. Speaking of which, I heard this song on the radio in 2000 when I was hanging out with my girlfriend and my best friend. My girlfriend was blonde and thick (and I mean that in a good way), and I encouraged her to dance to it. As she was blonde like Lita, I thought that I had it good. A blonde woman was dating me...It was a wonderful feeling. Unfortunately, what you see on the outside isn't always what you find on the inside. I often think about my ex...I think of what would it would've been like had she been faithful to me. We could've danced and done other things to this song until the sun came up. I know I referred to her as a "lying whore" in a previous article, but While I hate her for what she did to me, I'll always remember that, if only for a few years, I was dating a beautiful blonde with good musical taste.

What is it about blondes of the 80s that causes me to love them so much? The next woman on my list is also blonde...At least she was when she released her album "One Night In Bangkok". The woman's name is Robey.



Born Louise Robey, she's one of my favorite pop-tarts. "One Night In Bangkok" was a great album, from the title track to all the other tunes. I know what you're thinking..."I thought the title track, originally a show tune, was first done in pop form by Murray Head". Both performed the song in 1984, and I think both of them performed it well. Robey brings to it a different perspective...Whereas Head is performing the song from the perspective of a disgusted man, horrified by his surroundings, Robey's voice makes it sound like its' coming from the perspective of a snotty young rich woman, gone amok with mommy and daddy's credit card, looking to lord her wealth over the commoners who serve her dinner and shine her shoes. It's strangely appealing, and somewhat foreshadowing. She would end up becoming a courtesy countess after marrying and then divorcing a member of British royalty.

That isn't the only track of hers' I like, though. I also enjoy the track "Moth To A Flame". Once again, her voice has an elitist quality to her, but it's like she's more easy-going. I feel that the song is about her attracting men. She certainly is an attractive person...I look at the booklet for the CD and I see her with big hair the color of fire, jumping around with a lithe and limber body, looks of excitement and sensuality on her face that asks you if you want to party. As you're waiting, she looks like she might be getting ready to put on lipstick, after which she would point the tube at you and say, in her pouting and seductive voice, "Go ahead...Make my day". Damn right I would!

Another favorite blonde bombshell from the 80s would have to be Rebecca DeMornay.



The picture of her comes from "Risky Business". In the movie, she plays a hooker named Lana. She has a smoking hot body and a delicate face, but there's more to her than T&A. She's in roughly the same age range as the movie's protagonist Joel Goodsen (Tom Cruise), but a bad home life has caused her to become far more worldly than her age would show.

Joel is a high school student with an uncertain future. His best friend Miles (Curtis Armstrong) encourages him to have a little fun by saying these 3 magic words:

"What the fuck?"

Joel is asked to watch the house while his parents are out of town. At first, Joel's idea of saying "what the fuck" is drinking scotch with his TV dinner and dancing around in his underwear to Bob Seger's music. After a few false starts, though, he meets Lana. After he comes up short with cash after a night of wild passion with Lana, the two end up playing a sort of game of tag. Eventually, the two settle on a deal where Joel can earn a whole bunch of money by becoming a pimp. With assistance from Lana's friends, he becomes an overnight money man. Unfortunately, he still has to tangle with Lana's former pimp, a madman named Guido (Joe Pantoliano).

What I like about the character of Lana is that she's very mature and calm for her age. She gets a little tense at times, but all in all, I admire her laid-back demeanor in the face of the full-out insanity she deals with on the streets of Chicago.

I'm also amazed at Joel's dumb-founded demeanor. Lana is offering all these hints and come-ons that say that she wants to offer Joel more than sex, but he doesn't pick up on it until far into the movie. Although the character is fictional, Lana is real...Real as in she won't bullshit you or mis-lead you. Honesty is an important factor in all relationships, and they don't come any more honest than Lana.

Lana is a very forward fictional character, but my next 3 women are very forward and very real. I'm talking about the ladies of Prince's girl group Vanity 6....The name Vanity 6 came from him adding together each pair of breasts the girls had...3 girls, each with two breasts, 3 X 2=6.



The 3 members of the group were Vanity (real name Denise Matthews), Brenda Bennett and Susan Moonsie. Much like the output of Prince himself, the group sang very sexually charged songs. If you're an 80s movie fan, you'll definitely recognize their work.

For example, they did a song called "He's So Dull", a song where the trio put down men who don't fit their standards, from the one who "drives a '63 Rambler" to the one who is "always reading science magazines" to the one who refuses to get the hint that he's not wanted ("I'd like to tell him that I wish he was dead [Drop dead!], but he could never get it through his head..."). If ever one needed a reason to step out of their distasteful habits, then this song will do it. The tune is used well in "National Lampoon's Vacation" as a recurring theme whenever Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) comes across the blonde in the car (Christine Brinkley). Griswold is a dork (Trivia time! Dork is a slang term for penis!) and he is somewhat dull, so it's like she's taunting him with Vanity 6's music. Of course, as attractive as Brinkley is, Clark's wife Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo) looks quite good.

Hell, I'd take them both!



What can I say? I'm a sucker for a blonde.

Anyway, back to Vanity 6. Probably their best tune would have to be "Nasty Girl". The song is just a straight come-on. This is a trio of women who are hot, horny and headed into the night, looking for some fun. What they're singing about doesn't involve candy and flowers...It involves raw unfettered sizzle and sleaze. You'll recognize this tune best from the first "Beverly Hills Cop". When Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy), John Taggart (John Ashton) and Billy Rosewood (Judge Reinhold) are discussing the particulars of the case they're working on, there's a stripper working her stuff in the background. Foley encourages the duo to loosen up, but they're reluctant. I wouldn't be, though...I'd definitely be having fun. If you're listening to a tune like this, you definitely need to either get or be excited. Vanity 6 only did one album, but it rocked.

Another one of my favorite European 80s women is singer Kim Wilde.



I think that she's a very versatile singer, as evidenced by 3 of my favorite 80s tracks by her.

The one that put her on the map was the song "Kids In America". The song was sort of a right place at the right time thing. The song came out in 1981, the year that Ronald Reagan entered office, and a sense of rebellion was in the air. I know what you're thinking..."Only punk could be called rebellious". That's not necessarily true. There are rebellious artists in every genre and Wilde certainly expressed it with this tune. Feeling jaded can be considered rebellious. There was (and still is) no way to stop drug abuse and AIDS was already starting to claim thousands of victims, so feeling tired of Reagan's rhetoric was one way in which "kids in America" were expressing their jaded sensibilities.

In 1986, Wilde lightened things up with a tune called "Say You Really Want Me", which she performed for the soundtrack to "Running Scared". The song was a blue-eyed soul piece that was like a dare...

"You don't know a thing about romance,
and deep inside you're scared to take a chance.
(Take a chance!)
'Cause love like this can never come again,
So make your move or I'll be in the wind".

Subtlety is lost on many people, so a forward song like this can leave no doubt as to what she wants from you. She wants you to fall in love with her. She doesn't want you to be a pussy. She wants to go out with her. How could you ignore something as true as this?

Finally, there's her 1987 song "You Keep Me Hangin' On". A cover of a tune by The Supremes, this is the song she's probably most well-known for. The flipside of "Say You Really Want Me", this tune is another piece about how hard it can be to end a relationship, at least for one person. It could be seen as a sort of continuation of "Say You Really Want Me". "...Want Me" came out in 1986, while "...Hangin' On" came out in 1987. I look at this way.

The man that Wilde had been going out with was being unfaithful to her. She took him to heart and showed him all manners of affection, and he still went after other women, anyway...

"Set me free, why don't you, babe?
Get out my life, why don't you, babe?
'Cause you don't really love me.
You just keep me hangin' on".

Once again, forwardness, even though she wants you to go backwards, straight out that door and never looking over your shoulder. You should stay with a woman like Kim...I know I would if I were dating her.

The last pop tart I'll be talking about is a saucy Aussie named Collette (full name Collette Roberts).





This lady arrived near the end of the decade, providing us with one of the final blasts of colorful music and bright fashion before the 90s came along and gave music and fashion color of a less bright hue.

As I've said on many occasions, I use 80s music as an escape, and the dance genre has provided many parachutes from the battalion of planes carrying a poisonous cargo of mockery and belittlement. Collette is a relatively recent discovery for me, but listening to her music is like being in the comfort of an old friend...A friend who could regale me with stories of partying 'til dawn with a variety of colorful friends of all genders.

The album I acquired by her was 1989's "Raze The Roof". The spelling indicates the kind of music this is. In the instrumental breaks, I can once again hear that old chant:

"The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!
We don't give a damn, let the motherfucker burn!"

Her music on this disc was about burning up the dancefloor, sweat pouring from your body as you bop around the place, stepping off the floor only for a drink, and then coming back for more pulse-pounding action.

Collette now works as a make-up artist and also works with animals on occasion, but I'd like to see her do another album. I think she could hit the charts again...We need music like hers' in these hectic and uncertain times.

I appreciate many kinds of music besides dance, and one of my favorite artists is Tom Waits. Waits has a very interesting vocal style and songwriting ability...He sings of how fucked up the world can be, performing tales of the derelicts and rejects that make up this planet of ours', and he uses all sorts of voices to do it, from that of the laid-back hipster to that of a growling demon. Many others have covered his tunes, and some of those covers are interesting. That leads to the next woman on my list, Ms. Nastassja Kinski.



Tom Waits wrote the music for a movie called "One From The Heart". Released in 1982, the movie is the tale of a somewhat young couple named Hank (Frederic Forrest) and Frannie (Teri Garr). They live in Las Vegas and their wedded bliss is slowing to a crawl. Over the course of a weekend, they take a break from each other and each romances a person who is more exciting than they are. Hank's flirtation is with Kinski's character, a circus performer named Leila. He comes across her in an abandoned area that has become sort of a playground for her. She flirts with him by singing a Tom Waits song called "Little Boy Blue". The song is a tune about losing the love of your life, using nursery rhyme characters to illustrate the lyrics of how love can go wrong. Kinski has a very nice and clear singing voice...The total antithesis of Waits' voice, which was starting to become more ferocious even in laid-back songs. I like Kinski's singing voice. It would've been nice to hear her record an album. On a similar tack, actress Scarlett Johansson is recording an album of Tom Waits songs. It's just too bad that Kinski didn't get to it first, but then again, I haven't heard Scarlett's voice, so it might work well, and maybe we may end up with a duet someday. Stranger things have happened, right?

The last female rocker is a woman named Betsy, the lead singer of an 80s pop rock group called Bitch.



Right from the cover of this CD (which conbines the album "Be My Slave" with the EP "Damnation Alley"), you know what type of rock this is. Whips, chains, exposed skin...That was pop rock at its' finest. I love her look, especially her face. Her smile is a come-hither smile...There's nothing friendly about it. She's ready for action, and she hopes you're ready, too.

The song on here that not only demonstrates the cover, but also typifies what 80s pop rock was all about would have to be a piece called "Gimme A Kiss". The song isn't really about kissing, so much as it is about rough sex, with lyrics like:

"I'll take off my clothes, I'll walk around the place.
Kick me in my shins, come on, Slap me in my face..."

Wow...That's some intense stuff. I wouldn't do that to a woman myself, but people get off in strange ways. I wish I was around when songs about hedonistic abandon were the norm. Unfortunately, the music that was playing on the radio while I was growing up was all about regret and respect. The artists who weren't like that at first eventually ended up changing their tunes as well. I want to have fun...Pop rock was all about that. Okay, there were ballads, but for the most part, it was all about partying down and having fun. Due to my Aspergers', people skills aren't my thing, but I can use pop rock to vicariously become the party-hardy lothario I hope to actually be someday.

To cap off this article, I would like to talk about "Blade Runner". This 80s classic is one of the most challenging pieces of the last few decades. It's a piece that allows for questioning of who we are as people...Not as "a people", as a politician would put it, but as people, men and women, living and breathing.

The "villains" of this movie are called Replicants. They're created with a four-year lifespan to provide various services to humans. They're "retired" (read: killed) after 4 years because they can start to gain their own emotions and thoughts, and that could cause them to rebel against their makers. It's up to a "Blade Runner" named Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) to put a stop to them

There are 3 women in this movie, each of whom look good, and yet there's more to them than looks.

The first woman on the list is Zhora (Joanna Cassidy).



On Earth, she's an exotic dancer who works with snakes. Before that, though, she was a deadly soldier...An assassin who could kill you in two seconds flat. To me, Zhora represents the part of us that makes one individual act like two different people. A killer disguised as a dancer? There have been stranger combinations, both benign and malign. For example, how about the rapper who believes in Christian ideals, but sings about drinking 40s and smacking them bitches 'round 'cause they don't have his dead presidents? Or, as an altogether different combination, me? I'm not a professional writer. My paying job is as a retail worker, but I am not my work. There's more to me than that.

I see Zhora battling Deckard, and I imagine her past battles, and sometimes I wish I could do what she does and get away with it. I often get scared by that thought, but I'd be lying if I said that it wouldn't be a little thrilling. While Zhora eventually does buy the farm, she's able to kick a lot of ass. I need to start working out for many reasons...One of them is that if I get thinner, I might be able to get more physical, so if push came to shove while dealing with some dick at work or elsewhere, I would be able to fight back. I just hope I would never have to get violent.

The next "Blade Runner" woman I'll be talking about is Pris, played by the ever-so-lovely Daryl Hannah.



To me, Pris represents what many people in their
early-to-mid-20s are like. At a young age, she's already been somewhat corrupted, just like many people in my age bracket. The difference is that her corruption came through her job as a sex worker, while many of us have been corrupted by the events we've dealt with throughout our lives, from schoolyard attacks to watching and reading the news.

Despite our relatively young age, we've seen a Hell of a lot more than we should've seen. We all end up snapping in one way or another, but we try and do our best to keep a lid on those thoughts.

Pris behaves the way many of us do. She's walking through the world both scared and jaded, but she maintains a friendly demeanor. She's always smiling and making the occasional joke, but there's an undercurrent of fear within her. When she's finally tracked down by Deckard, she can no longer live the illusion of friendliness. She's ready to do anything within her power to kill Deckard and stay alive herself.

She doesn't survive, but I sort of hoped she would. It's strange...I feel more sympathy for the Replicants than I do for Deckard. All they want to do is live...They want to think their own thoughts, feel their own emotions and live their own lives. Granted, their means aren't the ones most people would use, but at the end of the day, most people want to feel something, anything. They want to feel some sense of humanity.

That leads me to not only the final "Blade Runner" woman, but also the final woman in this article, the character of Rachael (Sean Young).



She's the secretary of the Tyrell Corporation, the makers of the Replicants. She starts out as a cold and jaded person, but over the course of the movie, she gains humanity as Deckard forces her to fall in love with him. Her resistance breaks down, and she loses her perfection, but gains a sense of humanity. For example, she re-tools her hair from a 40s bob to a wild and free look, done without any styling, but looking stylish nevertheless:



She discovers what love is with Deckard, and I think that's what makes her human. Humanity is defined by love. Whether familial, romantic, brotherly or sisterly, love, above all else, makes us human. I don't really think that any of us are machines. I think that some of us can act like automatons at times, but all we need to do is look at our surroundings, the people we hold dear, or both, and then we can realize that, even if there's only a small amount of love in there, all of us are human.

EPILOGUE:

I talk about love, and I must say that I love all the women on this list, both by their work and their looks. When I look at them and their works, it sparks a sort of inspiration in me. It gives me hope that I can rise above all my problems. I know that I'll never escape them, but I also have this feeling within me that with all the things I've yet to learn, I may...Nay, I *WILL* be able to live life better and make the people around me feel good about me, and I might even get a better social life out of my work.

It's a long way to go, but as I look at Michelle Pfeiffer's eyes and I see Carol Alt's body and I hear the voices of Jane Wiedlin and Vixen and Janet Jackson, I can feel something within me...Something that says "Don't worry...Your time is coming".

I thank all of you for taking the time to read this, and I would once again like to state that this is MY list. It is not a definitive list, and I encourage feedback.

Who are YOUR favorite 80s women?