I think we all remember the brilliance that was Steve Guttenberg. He was a nice, charming, charismatic man, whom we all loved dearly. So here I am wondering what became of you, Steve? We love you! Come back to us!



My love affair with Mr. Guttenberg began at the age of 10, when I saw It Takes Two starring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Come on, I was 10, and a girl, I had to see it. I remember loving him so much and wishing my father was like Steve. He just had this sweet quality that attracted small children and menopausal women. I mean, his character was nice, kind, funny, caring, rich. He was everything a girl could want in a father.


Of course, It Takes Two was made in 1995/1996, so when I learned that Steve had been HUGE in the 1980's, it gave me much, much happiness.

Steve hit it big in 1984 with the release of Police Academy, where he played Mahoney. Now, I really am not a fan of this movie. It's incredibly cheesy, but Steve was in it, so hey! It's all right in my book.


Steve kept making movies. He became more and more popular with the release of movies like Cocoon

and Short Circuit.


Then, in 1987, Steve put out, what I would consider, his most beloved movie, Three Men and a Baby.

Which also starred two other very cheesy actors of the 80's. Tom Selleck (love the mustache) and Ted Danson (whom I can never forgive for Becker). This was the heart-warming story of three roommates who all could've fathered the baby left at their doorstep. I know, it doesn't exactly sound like good family fun, but it was was! It had these three "sexy" men catering to a baby. It was so... so... GUTTENBERG. It was seriously what you'd expect from him. (By the by, remember that rumor about the ghost that haunted the set? I guess in one scene you can distinctly see a shadow. Yeah, that was a cardboard cut out of one of the actors. Sorry to spoil your fun.)

Anyhoo, once the 90's hit, Guttenberg movies became few and far between. Sure, he had some minor successes with Three Men and Little Lady, and The Big Green where he played a sheriff/soccer coach. (Gotta love roles like that).


Then Steve did a movie called Zeus and Roxanne, which was a weird love story between a dog and a dolphin. After that, I hadn't seen Steve in anything for a while, and I was becoming depressed. I loved him. He was sweet and cheesy, and had the most perfect perm/mullet... he was my idol.

Then I heard he was going to be in a made for TV movie called, Casper: A Spirited Beginning. It was a prequel to the Casper franchise, which co-starred Lori Loughlin (Aunt Becky from Full House), and it was pretty bad. I think he found his kid in a tree. I don't rightly remember. He also did a few more made for TV movies like Tower of Terror, which co-starred a young Kirsten Dunst. But then Steve just kind of disappeared.

After a while I forgot about Steve Guttenberg. I forgot about his goofy smile, his large nose, and his unpronounceable last name, and started to like other actors like Tom Hanks (good actors some would say) when I picked up the newspaper (which I NEVER do) and saw a picture of him. There he was in the entertainment section smiling back up at me, and I remembered. I remembered the love I had for him. I remembered how his movies made me feel as a child. It was like fate wanted me and my Stevie to reunite. (You're probably wondering why Steve Guttenberg was in my newspaper. And, no, he did not die; he was promoting some Celebrity Charades show.) Anyhoo, I wondered whatever happened to him? Why did he fall into obscurity? Why isn't he doing movies today? I know you're all saying, "Girl, get over it. He was a bad actor." Well, that may be, but he was MY bad actor.

So I am here to ask the question that must be asked: Whatever Happened to Steve Guttenberg?