Everything these days seems to move way too fast. Kids today have it way, way too easy and so, they've become soft and weak. Not in my day. When I was a kid, kids weren't as....wimpy as they are now. Today, kids have to tell their moms where they're going, when they'll be back, who is going to be there, and a lot of the time, take a cell phone so the mom can get in touch with them to make sure that they're where they said they'd be. This created the namby pamby, "special" kids of today and led directly to the incredible influx of current tv show like Will & Grace and that For The Straight Guy show. Enough of this nonsense.

When we were kids, we were REAL kids. We stayed outside all day doing whatever we felt like, only coming home when the streetlights came on. We never told our moms where we were going. It was either "over to a friend's house" or most often just "out." When we went out, we had no idea of what we were going to do. We just played. But oh, no. Not these days. The last ten years or so has seen the mindblowing puss-ification of today's kids. Today, you have to wear helmets and pads when you ride your bike, skateboard, or scooter. How weak have kids gotten ? We never wore pads to do anything. We actually lived life and didn't worry about getting hurt. It's the mothers' fault. They overprotect their kids to death so, when they actually go out into the real world away from the mothers' retardedly warped idea of what the world is like, the kids have absolutely no idea about how to interact with people or have real relationships with girls that aren't on a computer screen.

They go into the world and get into a situation and get really confused because they haven't the faintest idea of what to do. The mothers' interference and idiotic moron-ity has so damaged the kids' self esteem and sense of reality that they realize that the way they thought that they should act in a certain situation isn't the way that the real world works.

This can all be solved by beatings. When I was a kid, if we acted up, talked back, or did something that we weren't supposed to, we got our ass lit the hell up. Hot Wheels tracks, belts, and the ever popular switch that we had to get off the tree ourselves. But no. You can't beat your kids these day. That would be wrong. Have you ever heard something more ridiculous ? Today, we have school shootings, etc. Not when I was a kid.....because we were spanked. If a kid is doing something wrong, you can't sit him down and talk to him. You have to bend him over and give him a smack or seven. He'll soon realize that if he does something wrong, he gets a whuppin'. If our moms weren't around, like when we were out playing, then the moms would have told the other mothers in the neighborhood to keep an eye our for us.

When I was a kid, and a mom took her kid(s) or a store and they started acting up, they didn't hesitate to light them up like a Christmas tree. And if they had their hands full doing something else, they didn't care, and in fact happily accepted it, if another person in the store beat the kid for them.

Kids today !!! They have it way too easy. In my day, we didn't have the internet, mp3s, email, or 50 bazillion tv channels. We were lucky to have cable at all. If we wanted to watch a movie, we either had to go to the theatre to see it or wait a year for the VHS to come out....in Foolscreen, no less. And we enjoyed it just fine. Speaking of VHS. We barely had VCRs when I was a kid. When I was a kid, they were just starting to become popular. I remember my dad had to save for months to be able to afford one. And I remember when he brought it home. It had a huge remote that wasn't all that remote. It was connected to the massive machine by a short cord. The first tape we got was Ghostbusters. I still have that old VCR, but it hasn't been used in years. Doesn't work, probably. If we wanted to talk to someone, we had to take our time, think about what we wanted to say, and write a letter that took possibly weeks to go out and come back. We couldn't just flip a switch or push a button and send a note that takes a second or two to go to the person that we want to send it to.

If we wanted to see a rated R movie, we saw a rated R movie, even though we weren't really allowed...and no one said anthing about it. We were REAL kids. None of this worthless whole grain, low calorie, low carb, all natural crap that "the man" tries to foist off on the weakminded kids of today. We liked our cereal full of sugar and marshmellows that rotted our teeth out. We thought for ourselves. None of the problems that the world has today would be happening anywhere near as intense as they are now if the kids now were half as good as we were. If, when we were a kid, someone knew or thought that we were going to take a gun to school, we'd get our ass beat and we'd learn not to suck like kids do now.

And that's another thing. People try to put so many dumb rules on the kids nowadays. Today, they have a thing called a zero tolerance policy. This means that you can't take guns or other kinds of weapons to school. This includes toy plastic guns and squirt pistols. Have we gone completely over the "halfa" line ? When we were kids, we took our G.I. Joes, Transformers, and other action figures to school with us. And that included their weapons. Also, on occasion, we had water fight partys during the beginning of the summer. We could bring our waterguns and have water wars. No one had a problem with it. Teachers and parents today are just about completely worthless. They have no idea about how the real world works....or they've just forgotten what kids do. We got hurt. We fell down and skinned our knees. We got made fun of....and nobody did anything. If we had problems, we dealt with them ourselves. None of this peer councling, parent teacher meetings garbage.

And we hiked to school, through the snow, uphill both ways, too....