DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR, WILL NOT BE MADE AS AN ARTICLE THIS TIME!!!


Due to the fact, they STILLcan't find their car.




Now why am I steering-away from something that I was working on?

Well...LeBron James threw lye in my wounds, the same damn wounds that I'm trying to recover from Super Bowl 47 because Art Modell won a ring beyond the grave!



And now we see LeBron James doing this again....



And making the Clevelanders do this....



So as I write this article, I'll play the theme to one of the most controversial films of all times...and no...It's NOT "A Serbian Film"!

With that out of my system today...I'm going to mention the TV Shows that scarred me from the day I watched TV to now, and this is what I'm going to call the "WORST Trilogy"! Why a Trilogy? Why Not? "Star Wars" did that with their trilogies, and the Summer is about to begin.



Now, with this list...I didn't add "Ren and Stimpy", "Roseanne", Court Shows, or "Zelda" because they didn't annoy me much...I couldn't or didn't watch these shows. Though "Zelda" did a great revival on YouTube!

#16..."HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"




Kids...remember when blah, blah, blah, yak, yak, yak. That's how the intro of this show starts. I know it's a newcomer and it's as inviting as spaghetti in a Mexican Restaurant, but I can't stand this show. My brother is going out with someone who LOVES this show and she gave me this motif..."Try it, you'll like it". I tried it...and I hate this damn show! Is it because Bob Saget HAS to narrate every episode (which he did since Season 2), Or my former roommates would wake me up with this damn show (Luckily I'm on my own now), or is it because of Neil Patrick Harris' Character Barney Stintson?



I'm sorry, but Barney Stitson is the biggest asshole in Sitcom History! He makes Archie Bunker (Whose wife REALLY did die this year, Jean Stapleton) look like Ward Cleaver, and in the near-future I'll be making an article on the biggest male jerks of Sitcom History...and yes BOTH Archie Bunker and Barney Stintson is on that list!

#15..."MOUSE WORKS/HOUSE OF MOUSE"




In 1999, ABC released a cartoon under Disney called "Mickey Mouse Works" which gave Mickey Mouse and his friends a face-lift for that time...the cartoons aren't as amazing as the originals (But then again...Mickey Mouse was NEVER funny...There I've said it)! And having Donald Duck act like Daffy Duck with having him lose his beak as well as his feathers...well, there you go! A forgettable show! Then enter...



To me, this show is like there's one too many cooks that just fucked the broth! Let's have ALL the Disney Characters prior to this year be on the show! "House of Mouse" may have been a hit for many, but this was when the Silver Age of Disney was completely tarnished due to Michael Eisner who made millions with Direct-to-Videos and selling-out the franchise!

Thankfully...there's some saving grace with this company with the new Mickey Mouse Cartoons that will be released next week. I wonder if they'll have Donald Duck have problems with "wardrobe malfunction"?...



Well...more than likely! And Now I see myself in a running-gag! With that, the Mets Joke...



And a Televangelist that has a station in Cleveland!...



Moving On...With a group of cartoons that didn't do well the last decade...

#14..."Baby Looney Tunes/Loonatics"




The 2000's wasn't fair to the legends called The Looney Tunes! First..."Back in Action" didn't do too well like "Space Jam", then there's a show that had pint-sized versions on The Looney Tunes called..."Baby Looney Tunes"! Characters that have vivid imaginations, they're pint-sized, and there's a nanny that wonders what's happening, does that sound similar...oh yes, it does! "The Muppet Babies"!...



But it gets worse...after "Baby Looney Tunes", there comes a show called "Loonatics: Unleased"!



This show is based on a new generation of The Looney Tunes that fight crime...wait a minute! Don't we have "The Looney Tunes Show" that will give us a better view of how the next generation of Looney Tunes SHOULD look like?



#13..."The Brady Bunch"




Oh My God...I Can Just Hear The Theme Song!...

And if you can too...RUN AWAY!



In the 70's, "The Brady Bunch" was a show that annoyed the living daylights out of anyone! and how the hell did Alice get in? Better yet...how the hell did Cousin Oliver get in this show?



Yeah...he tarnished the show, but then then there's the Marsha rant "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha"! But would it be pure irony that Marsha got hit by a football after that? And yes...there was sooooo many Brady Bunch things that made many sick, not just the movies...but how about "The Brady Bunch Variety Show" which had a new Marsha that took it all?



Now if I wanted to watch a show similar to "The Brady Bunch", I'll take "Step by Step" thank you very much! That show doesn't have Cousin Oliver, but it has Cousin Cody...DUDE!

#12...Arthur




Now, back when I was growing up, me, my brother, and my sister would have a day where we would watch TV. It started when we got cable and STILL was intact when we didn't. There was even times when I wasn't in the mood to play SEGA or watch a tape, so...my brother and sister took over and would watch "Arthur". I couldn't stand the show then (maybe because to me, PBS was either too young or too old for my blood at that time). And my brother and sister said that Arthur looked like the pastor's son at our church (he lives in Philadelphia now). But the only benefit of doubt I'll give this show is...it brought PBS shows that are based on Book Characters such as "Curious George", "Cat in the Hat", "Martha Speaks", "Sid the Science Kid", and "Clifford" to name a few. The latter had two sitcom stars in it, being the late John Ritter from "Three's Company" and Lara Jill Miller from the Nell Carter Show "Gimme a Break"!

#11...SportsCenter




Back on the time we had turns watching TV, my brother would watch "SportsCenter" on his day (Well, I watched The Weather Channel on my days) but what irked me at that time was we got The Plain Dealer delivered to our house everyday and before I could pick-up the Sports Section...my brother would have "SportsCenter" on. And I was like "Why need the Sports Section"? I don't have cable anymore nor do I watch "SportsCenter".

#10...Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain




In the 90's, Steven Speilberg was the king of cartoons! He had "Tiny Toons", "Animaniacs", "Pinky and the Brain", and "Freakazoid" and all these shows had a good audience throughout that decade. By the end of the 90's "Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain" came out and it was...ugh. Acme Labs has shut down and Pinky and the Brain live in Elmyra's House. The show seems flat and has no spunk like the other shows. Well, Speilberg would stop making cartoons after that fiasco and I never cared for "Pinky, Elmyra, and The Brain" anyhow.

#9...Mad TV




Another bad trip of my childhood...I remember my brother and sister watching "Mad TV" while I tried to go to sleep. Saturday nights, we went to bed earlier than usual but sometimes my brother and sister would watch this show and the TV was next to my room. Yeah, I may sound like a fuddy-duddy but "Mad TV" was basically a "Saturday Night Live" clone and next to Orlando Jones and Alex Borstein...no one really had a job after "Mad TV". And many sketches were forgettable, with the exception of "The Wizard of OZ" and "Sesame Street" sketches.



But come 2009..."Mad TV" was forgotten and I actually slept better when that came around. But at that time, my brother and sister watched "Mad TV" downstairs or at their places.

#8...Mind of Mencia




Now, who in the right mind thought Carlos Mencia was funny? Apparently Comedy Central did! After Dave Chappelle walked-out of Comedy Central to South Africa, Comedy Central got Carlos Mencia. "Mind of Mencia" has more rip-offs than a "Family Guy" episode, Mencia isn't even Mexican (He's Honduran and German) yet makes Mexican jokes. His signature catchphrase is "DEE-DEE-DEE"! Proving that Mencia is one "DEE-DEE-DEE" as of Comedy Central hiring him. And despite there being fewer episodes, "Chappelle's Show" STILL goes strong!

#7...Barney and Friends




I have two regrets of my own childhood...One is NOT having a VCR during the cable years, the other is...I...watched...Barney!

The 90's was a time for dinosaurs and Barney came to PBS in 1992, the show has a giant purple Styrofoam Dinosaur named Barney and the Backyard Gang are actually kids who looks like they are on Ritalin before the show started. At this time, Children's Programming was hitting real low. First, it was Barney, then Elmo took over "Sesame Street", and enter the next show on this list....

#6...Teletubbies




Oh God, every time this show was on I had to look the other way! "Teletubbies" just lowered the bar for children's entertainment and what is up with this show? What are teletubbies? Why does the purple one Tinky-Winky have something that looks like a purse? (I know...It's a bag)! Why is the sun a head of a baby? Why...why does this show exist?! It'd be okay if you were drunk or high and even over-analyzing this show isn't worth it. Jerry Falwell did that and...it didn't go over well!

#5...Scooby Doo




Scooby Doo...where are you? Because I hope to get you neutered! Really, how many Scooby Doo shows do we need? If the show just ended in the 70's, this franchise wouldn't be on this list. But nooooo...Hanna-Barbera HAD to add in one of the most annoying characters ever! Enter...Scrappy Doo!



Oh My God...and the show is practically the same thing every episode. We have Scooby Doo the cowardly dog, Shaggy the scared stoner, Fred and Daphne who don't do much, and Velma the nerdy Tom Boy. Why do people love this show? And it ends the same everytime. The ghost wasn't a ghost it was someone breaking crime, and if it wasn't for you meddling kids...he'd get away with it. Looks like we'll be seeing these meddling kids for such a long time!

#4...Spongebob Squarepants




I'll admit...I can't stand this yellow sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea! Now, prior to 1999 Nickelodeon was ending The Orange Era and instead of showing reruns of older cartoons as well as new shows...Spongebob became Nickelodeon's money-grabber! It was Spongebob this, Spongebob that...what next...Spongebob Toilet Paper? By then, Nickelodeon had the Spongebob Era and that yellow annoying creature will NEVER leave!

Speaking of yellow annoying creature that will never leave...

#3...The Simpsons




Okay...I may lose brownie points here, but hear me out...if "The Simpsons" lasted for 8 years, the show wouldn't be on this list. If "The Simpsons" lasted for 13 years, the show wouldn't be on this list. Even if it lasted for 16 years...the show wouldn't be on this list! But nooooo..."The Simpsons" are STILL on and it looks like it's not going anywhere anytime soon. To me, they're the Wal-Mart of Television. You can't get rid of them. The straw that broke the camel's back for the show's demise is "Blame it on Lisa". In this episode, Lisa runs a high phone bill for a good cause rather than what Bart did in "Bart vs. Australia" and yes...in Brazil toilets flush the other way. But what I didn't care for with this episode is that there wasn't much gags for Brazil and Riotour was mad with this episode because it stereotyped Rio de Janerio as a jungle country, but 60 years before that...Walt Disney came to Brazil and made a character that the Cariocas loved named...Jose Carioca!



Looks like they'll NEVER stop "The Simpsons", hell...they'll be on until we die and repopulate the earth!

#2...Tabloid Talk Shows




This genre of TV should go! This is another moment where my brother told me with "Maury"..."Try it, you'll like it". I hated Tabloid Talk Shows when they were at their height, I still hate them today! Whether it's "Steve Wilkos", "Ricki Lake", "Sally Jesse Raphael", "Geraldo", "Donahue", "Jenny Jones", or the king of the Tabloid Talk Show...Jerry Springer!



Yep...and I had to leave the room when my siblings watched "Jerry Springer", who actually started as the mayor of Cincinnati in the 70's, but then he got into the Talk Show genre and now we have a show that has constant fights. Look...if I want constant fights, give me WWE!

But what show(s) could be worse than Tabloid Talk Shows?

AND NOW...


#1...Reality Shows!




This genre is TOO over-saturated with Reality TV Shows. Many will say MTV's "The Real World" helped MTV, others hindered MTV (I say "Beavis and Butthead" helped-out MTV). Then Viacom who owns MTV buys CBS and gives them a reality show called "Survivor". Now CBS got ratings, but soon every TV Station was jumping on The Reality Bandwagon, ranging from "Fear Factor" to "Kitchen Nightmares" (okay, I'll admit...I do like "Kitchen Nightmares" and "Hotel Hell" both with Gordon Ramsey). Other stations have nothing but Reality TV Shows, The Learning Channel is over-saturated with them! I just hope there comes a day when Reality TV Shows go like the Variety Show.

Or...we can have a show that's based on a reality family who fight a lot at a nightclub they founded with a cousin named Oliver who's the biggest jerk on TV and isn't even funny and a Styrofoam creature that sings to the Ritalin addicted kids and they solve crimes with a sponge that has to steal the show!

Well...that's it for Part 1 of 3 in the WORST Trilogy. But do you agree these shows suck? If not...tell me what shows you think suck and I'll try to watch them...if I can!