How Subway Went To Shit

Remember when Subway was good?

Now this is one that just pisses me off.

There was a magical time in the early to mid 90's that Subway had good sandwiches. Sure they weren't quite as "healthy", but they sure as hell tasted better. And this isn't just nostalgia. I'd say the same thing about eating wood then and I would say about eating wood now, it's the fucking same. But not with Subway. I can with 100% certainty tell you that their sandwiches were better before they started putting calories on the napkins.

But what happened?

Well the most obvious change is how they fucking cut the bread. I'm sure everyone remembers how they did it before...

As you can see from above, the wedge design was unique and overall a very good way to cut a bread into "halves". It allowed for optimal sandwich eating potential and from what I remember, kept the shit in the sandwich. We'll call it a sub canyon. But why don't they do it anymore?

Well obviously I can't find any official sources but I have a few theories.

1. It takes too long
When you're the biggest fast food chain in the world, you can't spend extra seconds cutting bread into various shapes. You stick with whats easiest and what can get people in and out of the door.
2. The bread
Around the same time Subway did away with the sub canyon, they introduced a cornucopia of new breads. Why does this matter? Well ask any baker and they'll tell you not all breads are created equal. Sure we got more flavors and varieties, but we lost content. Subway bread flattens easier than a decade old pillow. Thus making the sub canyon an obsolete cut and dooming us to flat sandwiches.
3. Employees
Let's face it, cutting a V into a sandwich is hard work compared to a ___. So as Subway started to grow and add new employees to it's regime, training focused on other things. (see 'how to put cheese on the worst way') So basically the employees are just more stupid than they were 15 years ago. And I'm also guessing some dumbasses cut off their thumbs.

Look at this masterpiece

4.Government Conspiracy
Why doesn't the government want sandwiches cut like "goddamnned communist lathes"? I've heard rumor that the practice of making sub canyons has been "banned" by Subway. Why ban how to cut a sandwich you ask? It's a fucking conspiracy.

Wheres Nicolas Cage when you need him?

So what else is Subway doing wrong?

Well do you remember those fucking walls? It was like looking at newspapers from history. You kind of thought you were seeing the history of subways (the trains). And it just looked cool damnit. Now we have cookie cutter stores that look like McDonalds. Plus those yellow tables were iconic to say the least.

Free Subway for life and the chick from Modern Family? Deal

Okay, so lets recap. They can't cut their bread anymore. They can't decorate. And their employees are horrible. But what else...Oh yeah! They used to have WAY cooler toys in their kid's meals.

Tall Tales makes awesome toys

Bags to put things in do not make good toys

So what killed Subway?

This mother fucker right here

It was Jared "The Subway Guy" and his fucking pants that killed Subway. People thought shittier tasting sandwiches were better for you. And then Subway blew up. Everybody went on the Subway diet and wondered why their pants weren't news worthy.

So what's my advice?

Go to Jimmy Johns instead. It's delicious.

Comments

I definitely miss the "canyon" cut. However, you missed a couple of other Subway changes that ruined things:

Subway Club Card - It went from "earn a free sub" to "earn a half-price sub" to "What the hell is a Subway Club Card"?
Toasted Subs - Any time that was saved by simplifying the bun cutting is now more than wasted with the stupid toasted subs. If I wanted a toasted sub, I would have gone to Quizno's where they actually know how to do it!

Yeah agreed they went and got expensive fast in like the last 5 years. Still love the ham and cheese... My fave... basic cheaper and good.

Oh how I wish we had Jimmy John's in Canada. I get it when I go down to Minneapolis it's great. Couldn't agree more with the article too. Subway has gotten bland, expensive and there's always a huge line. Plus the sandwich is 95% bread and lettuce. Not only is there too much bread but it's usually hard as well. All Subway is to me now is a slightly healthier choice than McDonalds when you're in a time crunch.

Subway has been losing me since they stopped selling their rib patty sandwich in my area. I hate the "V" cut! The thing that was the last straw was not cleaning the utensils! My sandwich ended up tasting like one the person ordered before me! Why do they have to use that dirty knife to smash everything inside the sandwich? Why can't they really clean the knife instead of swiping it on the edge of the counter? I haven't eaten at a Subway since 2003 or 2004 and I never looked back!

Anyway much to my father's dismay I'm not a take-out sandwich person. I'm much too particular about my sandwiches and I'd rather make them myself at home.

The general consensus is...
Other sub places are better. I do love how passionate and loyal people are about Subway. That's great marketing on their part. They've built a great brand. However you can't maintain a high level of quality and grow like they have.
Yes they offer 5 different kinds of bread, but so what? They get it frozen and bake it. How much would you pay for the bread itself in the supermarket? And the next time you get a sandwich, look at the meat they give you. It's nothing special and definitely isn't high quality.

And don't get me started on the bacon. I did the math one time. And the cost of the pig based on the bacon they give you is something absurd.

I only get one Sub from Subway and that's their Chicken Bacon ranch sub (So frikin good) I usually go to Jimmy Johns subs just cause they taste like a old sub place I went to before I moved a year and a half ago. The place I used to go to was Amiles subs. Best sub place hands down. Fave sub to get at amiles was cheese lettuce and mayo thats it. But I usually avoid subway now then when I was a kid.

Yeah, quiznos and Mr. sub are much better.

It would seem people like Subway. As every semi inactive member on this site is coming to comment on an article about Subway. Please remember, I write for entertainment.

Well, I understand you're writing your article for fun, but just remember when you write about something that trashes something other people like, you're going to get opposing opinions.

Oh yeah, and the bags are a great gimmic, if you have kids you'd know, they are excited to get bags of the movies they want to watch and unlike a crap toy these are used to tote around crayons and store books. Much much more useful, and fast food toys today suck anyway, I'm not missing picking them up.

Huh, Subway is my fav fast food place. If I eat there for 2 meals out of the day I loose weight and am not hungry. It is weird, but the Subway diet works. It is also the best tasting sandwich place in my opinion, Jimmy Johns is ok but not as good IMO. Now that they're toasted Quiznos is out. Gandolfs is okay also, but only when you want a really heavy meal, the meat really weighs you down. Also, you have to try different Subways, I have 5 near my daily travels and two of those really suck, hardly any vegetables at one and the other hardly any meat.

I don't know what the writer of this article is talking about saying that Subway's went to shit... IMO, the sandwiches are better than ever! I've NEVER had a problem with ANY sandwich I've bought from this franchise. The bread is fresh, there's a nice variety to what sandwich(s) you can get, and some of their places are open 24 hrs.
The only thing I agree with daash about this article is that I can't stand Jared either.

This article had something to say, but it got lost amid the useless profanity, which does nothing to lend credibility to the author. It turns out to be nothing more than a wildly disguised rant based on the fact that Subway changed their wallpaper and bread-cutting style, even though their ingredient list hasn't changed.

I cannot award a thumbs-up rating to any article with useless profanity, as it is obvious it would have read exactly the same without it. It's immature, at the very least, and wants to draw attention with its vulgar title.

If this is the state of Retro Junk now, it's no wonder I don't come here that often anymore.

Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine

And it seems you just picked this article out because it had "shit" in the title. My other articles have even more useless profanity to thumbs-down. (all but 1 I think) ---give that one a thumbs-up. So you have some work to do giving my other 6 articles a thumbs-down.

Oh well... then get the fuck out.

Edit: This comment is for prophet "I don't like cuss'in" sword.

The issue is more that you can write a well worded article that doesn't require the author to sink to the level of shock-profanity to get attention. It sinks the message to its lowest possible point, which does not do it any favors.

Also, I have nothing against profanity when properly used, gillz107. So, I suggest you take a flying fuck off a rolling doughnut.

I liked the subway wallpaper of subways before they went for the brick look. On the topic of Jared I always ask Subway employees if they ever get tired of looking at him. More than not it is yes just like me!

I never really cared for Subway... but that V-cut bread was the WORST thing dude.

It's true! I use to go to Subway all the time when I was little because like the article said it tasted better and the toys were way cooler! Let’s face it sandwiches are ruined.

I used to work at Subway around 2000 or so. You are correct....at the time we did the canyon cut and there were just two types of bread to choose from. One thing they tried to do for the better at the time was having employees put on individual slices of meat instead of the premade combos they shipped in. You would think this would make the sandwiches better, but I think it just took more time to make the sandwiches (while giving the customer less meat...also, this might be why they got rid of the canyon....take time to do individual slices or canyon cut? They chose meat). Anyway, I definitely think the sandwiches were much (MUCH) better back then, but there really isn't any reason this should be. They have more choices now for bread and meat, and they can make the sandwiches hot. Why isn't it as good? Nostalgia would be my guess.

I think it's the quality of the ingredients. The bread is a huge factor in sandwiches. Think of the worst sandwich you've ever had. It probably had shitty bread. You probably don't remember what was inside. Subway can't be the largest fast food chain if they give away good stuff

I still enjoy the Chicken Bacon Ranch sandwich, (chunks of chicken, strips of juicy bacon, ranch dressing, lettuce and tomato and I usually get it on Italian herb and cheese bread. Sorry if I just made any mouths water). It is still pretty tastey but I also know where you're coming from. My original fav was Seafood and Crab, but once the changes went through it was taken off the menu...literally. Yeah, I know, it was imitation crab, but it was still tastey. And I think I remember that cut you mentioned. It may have cost you a big section of the bun but it kept the sandwiches together better and it also made it easier to wrap your hungry maw around it and take a bite. I also remember them once having Beakman's World toys. I'm not sure how many people remember that show but it was great and the Subway toys looked pretty cool. Happy Gilmore is another reason I like Subway. It's my favorite golf movie. Good article, I'm going to have to get my sandwich now.

You'd almost think this was an ad for Jimmy Johns. No I do not work there. But I did have it today!

I remembered some of the kiddy toys
I received at Subway back in the late
90's like Histeria,Powerpuff Girls,and
Blues Clues.

I agree that Jimmy Johns has better sandwiches and what's better is that they are less expensive than Subway's (whom has jacked up their prices recently).

Subway has higher prices than Jimmy John's?! Well, the next time I wanna fast-food sandwich...I may go there! Subway seems the same to me...though I think Jared looks like the Angry Video Game Nerd.

Loved the canyon style cut, up until a few years ago they'd still cut it like that where I live (upon request) now if you ask for it cut the "old way" the 17 year olds working there look at you like your some sort of freak.

I wonder if they actually called it a "canyon cut". To my knowledge I made that completely up.

OMG I've talking about the "canyon" bread at work, and no body knows what im talking about. Cuz of that ive quit subway, thanks for talking about that

I miss Subway's classic decor but Ithink a lot of changes have been for the better- You get to choose more than white or wheat bread, they have breakfast, and you can get your subs toasted.

And with $5 footlongs you can't go wrong lol

Their breakfast flat breads are pretty good and cheap. So they have that in their favor.

But their $5 footlong piss me off. It's just usually JUST on the shitty sandwiches. Who wants a $5 bolagna? I blame cheap franchisees

Them and McDonalds go back and forth. But I'm fairly certain Subway is the largest fast food chain at the moment.

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2011/03/07/subway-overtakes-mcdonalds-largest-fast-food-chain/

Please forgive the link to Foxnews...

I like this article. Subway just isn't what it used to be. But I must ask, is Subway really "the biggest fast food chain in the world"? As much as I hate McDonalds these days, I can't deny it's popularity. If not McDonalds, there's probably something bigger than Subway. But I like this article, even though I liked some commericals with the Subway guy.