Indian in the Cupboard could change the world
How a cupboard could change the world, maybe the universe.
This is the story of a boy and his cupboard. What boy doesn't love his cupboard?
But no, this is how the cupboard from The Indian in the Cupboard could literally change the world.
For those of you who have not seen the Indian in the Cupboard, it's a classic piece of mid 90's cinema and a great book. A boy (Omri) gets a cupboard for his birthday and discovers it's magic. Once he discovers this, he instantly see's what it can do and puts an Indian in the Cupboard (see what I did there?).
Omri and the Indian bond over the course of this adventure and Omri learns valuable life lessons. Eventually his stupid friend comes into the picture and messes shit up with a cowboy.
"I have no feelings and will drink away my sorrows"
They fight and eventually find common ground in a fanny pack. You know, the usual storyline for Indians and cowboys.
The main theme throughout the movie is that Omri doesn't realize the power he wields with this cupboard. He's constantly compared to a god and meddles in people's lives. He even is responsible for killing one of his toys. The story comes to a close when Omri says goodbye to the Indian and is on his way to becoming a man.
No seriously, Omri doesn't realize what he's found. He has a cupboard that turn can any plastic toy into life. Omri has discovered god furniture. He's excited, but does he realize what this could mean for the world? (let's ignore that the "key" could be possibly be magic)
Below are some awesome and terrifying repercussions of what this means for humanity
1. This cupboard can bring toys to life!
Think about that for a second. This wood cabinet can bring toys to life. Plastic manufactured toys that are based on cartoons or movies. This is every kid's fantasy.
One of my favorite scenes in the movie is where Omri puts Darth Vader, a T-Rex, Robo Cop and a few other toys in the cabinet and brings them to life. They aren't just mindless drones either, they have personalities and histories. Robo cop actually said "halt" to Omri at one point. Have you ever wanted to clone dinosaurs? Well just pop it in and change history.
And the most awesome part...
This scene right here is better than all the prequel movies and explains a lot more
2. It makes the toy's technology REAL
Have you ever dreamed of owning a lightsaber? Well this is your ticket. How fucking awesome is that? But wait...technologically lightsabers are supposed to be impossible. As sad as this is for me to admit, we will probably never have real lightsabers. That's what makes this cabinet special. It animates all aspects of the toys.
But...What if you had a really deranged kid who found this? This kid owned tons of GI Joe Missiles and decides to blow up his house or the city block. What are the limits of this cabinet? If it can create impossible technology, what else can it do?
3. It fucking steals the person out of their life
Every toy he brought to life had a back story and life he was living. The Indian was on a journey with his nephew, the cowboy had some issues and the medic was in World fucking War I.
"Where the fuck am I?"
This is exiting the realm of cool and entering into fucking bonkers ass scary. These characters had NO IDEA that they were a toy.
Imagine you all the sudden woke up in a cabinet and were confronted by a giant god like being. But this was not any normal dream, it persisted until the god like being thought you should go back. So really...
4. Toys can capture the souls of real people
So if every toy has a personality and a life outside of being a toy and that toy was created... Then toys are portals to peoples souls. Kind of like "Being John Malkovich" but in reverse.
"We just wan't be left alone giant boy god"
How is this scary? Well let's assume a sculpter made an action figure of you. This is the only toy of you in existence. And he put that toy in the cupboard. What would happen to you?
5. This cupboard can change history
Remember when Little Bear asked if the Iroquois were always a great people? Omri basically said "shit goes south Little Bear, you all get raped.". Well, if Little Bear decides to use this information, he could feasibly change history. Whatever Little Bear's life had in store before the cabinet, that is now out the fucking window. What else could this do?
There's really no proof that this cupboard hasn't changed history
Imagine if he brought in toys of presidents, kings, murderers. He could tell them what is going to happen and on some level they might believe it.
6. It allows Omri to play god
Seriously. Omri flippantly brings toys to life and steals their weapons or whatever else he wants. There is a point where he is like "can I make you a wife?". Litter Bear knows this is bullshit and Omri is a joke of a god, but I have to believe he was terrified the whole time.
"I think he'll die next."
And what worse being to be a god than a 10 year old kid? Omri can barely wipe his ass properly and he's harnessing the greatest power the world has ever seen.
7. How can this get worse?
If this cabinet follows any kind of laws of physics (I don't think it does), it would have to work in reverse. IE...what if it turned the world outside into inanimate objects and did the opposite to whatever is in the inside? Or think about this, what if you put a TARDIS inside the cupboard? What if you put in a model of Saturn?
Meanwhile in a child's room...
Basically, this cupboard defies all laws of logic. Modern science could not begin to define the limits of the cabinet. It can create impossible technology and trap people from other dimensions. The implications of this on modern science are astounding. We could figure out space travel, hyperspace, lasers and anything else we could dream of.
And what does Omri do? He brings an Indian to life and learns what it means to be a man? A trip to the woods would satisfy both of these.
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