Ah, video game dialogue. So timeless, so classic, so...dumb? Yeah, a lot of them were. From spelling errors, bad grammar, and just outright silliness, video game quotes have a special place in the universe.




Yes!!!!! I've made it through the dungeon, beaten King Koopa, and now I will rescue...ah crap!
Definitely the first line in a game I ever knew, I wanted to strangle Toad every freakin time I saw him. Each fight with Bowser just seemed to be a tease, was this the final castle or not? Who knew if the Princess even existed? Whatever. This was very frustrating to a 7 year old.
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If I had a dime for every instance I saw "Fly Away" on Duck Hunt, I'd have about fifty cents. This is due to the fact I never played the game much. I spent so much of my time drilling into Super Mario Bros. that I never gave much regard to the cartridge counterpart.
As I recall, I think I've shot 2 ducks in my entire gaming life, but other than the laughing dog, Fly Away was the common message more often than not.
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This is one I became familiar with in the early 2000's on an Internet message board. I didn't have a clue what it meant. "All your base are belong to us", comes from the 1991 game Zero Wing on the Sega Mega Drive. It's one I've never played, so it doesn't mean a lot to me from a gaming standpoint..but it serves as a reminder of my early learning days on the web.
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I never saw this one personally, but if I had been playing Bionic Commando and this message came up, I shutter to think what it might have done to my young self. Heck, it might have affected me to a point I'd never have arrived here at Retrojunk! This game also has another well known line...



I don't even want to ponder what I'd have felt if I'd seen a game curse at me!
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Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, was one the earliest attempts at a RPG-style game I ever saw. "What a horrible night to have a curse" is a signal that the game is now transitioning from day to night. It just pops up at random, and can be quite annoying. The primary difference is that the enemies are are harder to kill at night.

Equally well known is the flip side phrase, that shows up when the game goes back to daylight..



Simon's Quest also contains several infamous spelling errors such as prosess and appaer, as well as random lines spouted by the townsfolk that don't seem to make a lick of sense.



I must admit, I've used both of these primary phrases in real life at times. No one around me understands what they mean, but I'm used to that. After an all night party, it's good to see the morning sun vanquish the horrible night.
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Despite the ending screen's claim, Ghostbusters for the NES is not a great game. It isn't even a remotely halfway decent game. It is a stale, mindless, repetitive mess, and a shameful stain on the Ghostbusters legacy.
If you can somehow manage to make it up the stairs of the Zuul building (doing so is quite impossible without the Game Genie), and beat Gozer, this is the ending you receive.

I'm not sure what kind of cultural justice I just prooved, nor do I know what a conglaturation is. All I can say, is that it's very fitting that one of the worst games of all time has the worst end screen of all time.
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Speaking of ending screens...




Could they be any more blunt? I don't know who the genius is that decided to take a series of R-rated slasher movies and turn out a Nintendo game for all the kiddies to play, but he's probably the same one that came up with this game over line.
To be honest, I never played Friday The 13th, but it seems they were quite bold with it. Most games at the time never really got into the "died" thing. You just lost a turn, or an enemy was "defeated". But with Friday The 13th, they just cut the crap and told you that you're freakin dead. I guess when you consider the game's source material, this was appropriate.
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Wow, nice to meet you, Error. Are you about to crash my NES or overload my Zelda II cartridge? No? Ok.
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Kids today have it way too easy. Need to save a game? Click one or two buttons in less than a second, and there you go: Your game progress has been saved. With a game like Faxanadu and numerous others, saving your progress was an adventure all it's own.
Early Nintendo games were notorious for having long, complicated 30-digit password systems. In this case, getting a password involved deep thought and meditation. Wow, I feel more at peace already.
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Super Mario Bros 3 is my favorite NES game ever. After all those toiling attempts, I finally defeated King Koopa, and rescued the Princess! She's grateful, but then proceeds with a lame joke about another castle. Haw Haw. How about I abandon you here in Dark Land?
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Ultimate victory! Not only in Pro Wrestling, but I wanted this to appear when I won at checkers and freeze tag. Everyone would know I was the man.
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The real winner is you, because you're reading this. My thanks!



~TheOutlaw