Totally Rad! a video game review by the man who knows it best
Totally Rad! A game with fond memories, the only thing it lacks is a review by the king of cool Theodore Logan, that is until now...
Greetings my excellent friends, it is I Ted, the saviour of the future and most excellent lead guitarist for Wyld Stallions!!... come on don't pretend like you've never heard of us. My compatriate Bill could not come today. but don't worry while I'm hangin' here with you he's having a most excellent time with the princess babes ... as if, his dad's making him clean the garage haha. So dudes today we're going to totally travel back in time, to 1991 a year in which one of the most bodacious games ever was made, no sorry dudes it ain't Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, but the next best thing... Totally Rad dudes. Ok I admit it Bill and mine's game never really took off, due to the most extreme difficulty and lack of babes; even a soundtrack by our boglius band couldn't have saved it, but Totally Rad totally makes up for it in every way, and the best part is, I was the inspiration for the far out fro frontin' main dude. This game is epic dudes and if you don't like it, get bent cause here goes my coolaphonic review.
Just so you dudes know, the music for this game makes it worthy enough for you to check out , just listen to the first 2 songs, you'll be whistling them all day long.
Here's the rundown dudes, your Jake a way cool dude leading a most excellent life, you've got a hot babe, killer style, and you're the apprentice of an excellent magician that gets you into excellent shape and teaches you some gnarly magic tricks.
On this most excellent day while you're training, a bunch of fags comes in and most egregiously takes your babe into a bogus circus house, being the excellent dude that you are you go to win her back. Come on dudes we gotta get my er Jake's dally back.
Alright dudes level one, check Jake out, they did me justice here and I like how he shoots gnarly laser blasts from his hand... Excellent! (guitar rip)
...dude without Ted it's just not the same. Blasting our way through this level and jacking up the bogus WW2 replica soldiers we can totally see in the background the future building from which Rufus teaches his classes in teh second, once again another most excellent homage to me. Let us test out our mist excellent spells on these un-cool dudes who have so heinously taken out babe. Dudes in the words of my most excellent advisor Rufus "Gentleman they're history" when you pull a spell the un-coolies are frozen with fear and wiped out like a beach bunny on a boogie board. Jake makes quick work of these bogus baddies and it's on too the next terrain dudes.
Allison doesn't realize the gnarly danger she is in, Zeb gives us the heads up that they went into the circus tent, we're there dudes. Inside teh tent we see the little rock shooters from the 2nd Mario game and a few cavefish clowns that fly around fire pits, nothing to major for our dude. Some of these awesome spells allow Jake to turn into some most excellent creatures major bonus dudes. The angel is by far the coolest with it's major flying ability, the cat-like dude is a brodad and I never wasted my magic on him. The boss dude in this level looks like he's walking down the cat-walk, check it out dudes, using some fire spells Jake passes this un-excellent mutant cleanly. You dudes are probably wondering how my bro Adam kept from getting hurt in this game... well let me tell you dudes he is the most excellent Nintendo gamer there is.
Zeb pops up and tells Jake to communicate telepathically from now on, way excellent, he also states the obvious that Jakes ciara has been kidnapped. Man Zeb begins to become less and less excellent, and what's with that "P" on his hat? Isn't his name Zeb? Zeb is wack.
Level three dudes, downtown LA and there are unrighteous dudes in the streets looking for beef, and no NES game would be complete without the bogus overdone sewer level, which you enter after falling into a major long manhole, that pit fall remind you of a scene from my movie? I thought so dudes. Another excellent spell turns you into a surfer's worst nightmare, the creature from the black lagoon, he swims like a pro. The end dude looks like he's got one gnarly hemmroid and so being the cool dude he is Jake calls on Aquarius to bring in the preparation H, now that dude looks relieved. Jake is a good dude.
Finally dudes Jake totally gets Allson back, and what a reunion, they were so stoked to see eachother we had to remove some of the scenes for censorship purposes. Allison is distressed dudes, her awesome dad has been kidnapped too, now Jake has to save this kook.
This time Jake is in the forrest, at least for one hot minute, then this hotdogger descends down into the unknown most righteously. Back to the excellent lagoon dude Jake meats up with the most unrighteous fish I've ever seen, and I thought Station was ugly, this fish gives new meaning to the term swamp donkey!
Zeb informs Jake that the morlocks have taken Allison's dad to learn everything they can about humans and he's in grave danger, move it Jake dude.
Ok dudes level 5 home of the suspicious crocodiles and the place where we'll test out Jake's most excellent spells, including the one where he calls upon the righteius dude B.B. King, check 'em out dudes they're there. The baddie for this level is psychedelic
and has one killer stink eye, nothing too major though.
Zeb picks up a tele from Allison who is now a wannabe magician.
This is it dudes the last level of this wicked game, it had to come some time. This time we're in a rave room the center of all that is most unrighteous dudes, time to clean things up. Ok breezing through this level we come to the fag behind this bogus brainchild, the uncool knight sir sucksalot. Same as alays Jake takes him out with ease, actually this dude's a but tougher then the others.
Are you dudes stoked for the end? I know I sure am. Watch these next GIF's closely dude cause they are long and it would be most unexcellent to miss one of the shots.
Well Dudes that about wraps up my killer review of this excellent game, hope it was a bodacious read, be excellent to eachother and party on dudes.
Catch ya later.
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