I hope the crazy mock-Japanese title brought you in here. What I am about to show you may not bring back memories, but it is about shows of pre-millenium origin that have brought me great joy during the early 2000's.

So if this draws you away, I'm sorry. I wish I could make a machine that could let you be interested in things I like, that way, we'd all be happy. And everyone would be my friend. And all the girls will sleep with qewewrwrewqdaxc-While living in the Philippines, I've missed a LOT of the great shows that you guys have been watching at good ol' USA.

The final season of the Animaniacs, the other episodes of Rocko's Modern Life...what else uhhh...



The Who they's?


They look weird...


Chicken thigh.


And for the record I didn't know how ugly those Martians were. And it was only til after 2004 I was able to see those great shows. Except for Butt-Ugly Martians, I still have no idea what that's about.

However, living in one of the many Asian countries near Japan, I've been exposed to many of their cartoons. Some in their full, violent, almost uncut glory because we didn't have the same standards you dudes had, then again, we didn't have the V-chip either, just a caption on the lower-right corners that read PARENTAL GUIDANCE. Thanks to this, I've realized almost everything that was wrong with what 4Kids was translating, as well as why the first Rurouni Kenshin dub sounded so...weird sometimes.

Some of the local channels there aired at least one anime, either in Tagalog, American (rarely), or English with Filipino voice actors. The latter would be hilarious.

Anyway...I've done some research, and all of the shows here have never been brought stateside. And with the amount I've seen, I decided to share it with ya. What I'm about to show you, make look weird...to you.

Akazukin Cha Cha
7 January 1994 - 30 June 1995

a.k.a. Red Riding Hood Chacha


What's it about?
In the land of magic, a red-hooded girl is a magician-in-training under the guidance of Master Magician Lance Burton I MEAN Seravy who is also the proclaimed "World's GREATEST magician". She a is clumsy yet kind-hearted soul whose magic skills tend to result in failure thanks to her frequent Japanese mispronunciations and uh...homonymical mishaps. One day her teacher presents her with three magical items. Activating them would grant her the ability the transform into a warrior of Love, Courage, and Hope: The Magical Princess Holyup! Boy was that stupid. I hate what I'm writing right now I MEAN and with this new transformation, she destroys various forces of evil that strangely pop up and possess many of the characters to do the evil biddings of a mysterious entity.

Aside from the aforementioned characters is Riiya. Not a magician, but has the power to transform at will at anytime whenever he wants because he can and he wants to...into a werewolf. A small, adorable little werewolf. Then there's Shiine. The other magician in her group of friends who is also a more skilled user of the arts. He can cast spells better, transform to anything and is also a master in offensive/defensive spells. His name also means "death", sorta.

Then there's Yakko, the black-hooded witch. This magician is a specialist in magic potions. Not to be confused with Yakko, but she is anime'ney, totally insaney, in love with Seravy. She hates the fact that he is Cha Cha's teacher so she tries to win his affection much to everyone's annoyance. And then there's the mermaid, Marin. The few, the proud, or the character who's also a lovestruck little lady. She LOVES Riiya, ever since their encounter at the beach. However, she is unaware of his wolf form, and gets easily annoyed by the ugly thing and tries to abuse it away. More in this weird cast is a thick-lensed, glasses wearing principal, a teacher with a whip, and another teacher who grows thorns all over his body whenever he gets stressed, and roses on his head when he's happy. And a transsexual.



What about it?
How I would describe this show, it's a show that's been tucked into a barrell o' suga' everynight, and is just as wacky as an anime should be, cheesy as well in the action department. The series' first and second seasons were formulaic. The characters do something, a character is possessed, then Holyup destroys them. Aside from that and the third season, this show is crazy crazy fun with its recurring jokes and adorable characters. This was also one of the first anime to appear in Cartoon Network-Asia (Now CN-Philippines) and has been kind of popular after its release, almost how Dragonball and Sailormoon were in the US. It was also dubbed in English by local Filipino actors. A lot of mispronunciations here and there, and many many obscure moments. Another worthy note, they also voiced Dragonball in English.

Hakushon Daimaou/The Genie Family
October 5, 1969 - September 27, 1971

advertised as
The Sneezing Magician
in CN-Philippines


About: An ordinary kid, named Kan, finds this strange bottle with a happy face on it. Unknown to him at first, at the moment he sneezes, a big, fat genie pops out and must grant any wish(es) the "sneeze-ee" wants. And when he yawns, a little girl genie named Akubi-chan pops out as well. With these new magical beings, everyone involved goes through many adventures and mishaps caused by the fat bumbling genie and the mischievous little one, and also everyone learn a few things and change for the better.

Info: The show is another old-school piece of work produced in 1969. A fun little comedy featuring two 15-minute episodes. At times, the show would also have a few serious and heartwarming moments as well. This was another of the shows picked up by CN-Asia and dubbed by the same people, and earlier episodes would sound like a 1930's Popeye-talkie. I don't remember much about it though. All I remember is the big genie loved hamburgers. You probably recognize this character. He premiered in a recent crossover-fighting video game (that is not retro because it was released sometime in 2008).

Awesome.

Grander Musashi
April 2, 1997 - September 24, 1997

"FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!!!!!!!!!"


Grander Musashi tells the story of a boy who had just moved from urban civilization into the boring, old outskirts of nature. While walking around, he notices a bassfisher doing some lure-fishing. After being fascinated by the fisher's catch, he takes interest and learns many things from the world of fishing. After much experience, he becomes involved in many tournaments and meets new friends and rivals along the way, also hoping to find his mother who left them years ago.



If it's one thing anime can do, it's make something boring into something exciting. Any Saturday morning cartoon viewer may have known this already with all those Yu-Gi-Oh's, Beyblades...and even that Hikaru No Go but I never saw that, so this may be old news to you. But they definitely deliver. I'm no fisherman or an enthusiast myself but a lot of the characters use a lot of neat lures that have special or attributes, as well as certain techniques that appear to be a little exaggerated, like spinning your fishing rod in a circle for some effect. There are also lures called Legenders which are known for either having great speed for catching the fish, picking up more than one, or strong hooks. These are also legendary, didn't see THAT coming did you?! Also they have this ability to change the world. Unfortunately, I never saw the last episodes to see what they do, but the series within is guaranteed entertainment. There are still a few of the typical silent, waiting scenes you would expect from a fishing show but they later cut down on it good enough to finish a tournament or story arc without waiting 10 episodes.

Cyborg Kuro-chan
October 2, 1999 - January 6, 2001


Kuro-chan was just an ordinary, protective house cat living with his two elderly owners. While on his way to confess his true love for his true love, Purrhy...who is a dog...a mad scientist named Dr. Go tries to take Purrhy but Kuro-chan pushes her away and ends up being captured instead. As he wakes up, he notices his body is made of metal and has been equipped with a lot of enhancements: A gatling gun, a giant sword, the ability to talk to name a few... He escapes as he destroys all the other cyborgs that get in his way. Upon arriving, he notices that his new metallic body, and his ability to talk, scares the locals so hides his appearance under a plush toy skin of a black cat. He is able to return safely home to resume his normal life again, but Dr. Go is still after him with more cyborgs. But it doesn't end there...not only does he have to give up his love life, he has to deal with a lampshade/cat cyborg, a model-robot-building enthusiast, lamp post aliens, other wacky characters.


As you can tell by the pictures, this show is pure wacky entertainment filled with action, violence and comedy featuring a black, cyborg cat who wields a gatling gun and giant sword. It also uses it's own non-traditional character design, as you can see. I first discovered this show aired on Animax-Asia a few years back. It was dubbed in English by a certain group from Singapore. It was also dubbed in Tagalog before then but I never watched that version.



And to be honest, I can only vaguely remember a lot of things in this show. Due to the show's apparent lack of popularity, I can't find a single webpage dedicated to this show. Heck, there isn't even a small wikipedia article on the dang thing. However, there are a few clips lying around somewhere on the net. One thing that might scare you, or annoy you, is the even crazier opening theme song. She talks so gotdang fast and she was probably drunk...but the first closing is mellow. And when you watch it enough it'll grow on you.

Cooking Master Boy
27 April 1997 - 13 September 1998

a.k.a Chuka Ichiban


19th-century China. The Qing Dynasty. A time of weakened military power, lost wars, but you don't care about that. Go read a book! Get out of here! Go back to your dang library you son of a also known as the Era of the Cooking Wars. After a young boy's mother passes away, he eventually grows into a professional chef as he and his sister run the local family restaurant. During this era, being a professional chef has become a trend. Every chef from every restaurant challenge each other; comparing techniques, gaining power, respect, fame, and sacrifice. Liu Mao Hsing faces these challenges, gaining friends, enemies, new cooking tools and eventually sets off on adventures, competing in contests and major tournaments around the four regions of China.



Another competition-based anime. The twist? It's not really about battling with fisticuffs, magic weapons, monsters, cards, or spiked spinning tops. It's about people showing off their abilities in various styles of cooking and making the most delicious, Chinese meals you can't find at your local food court. Also it's another show that turns something normal into something awesome. You ever been to Benihana? It's kinda like that in this show, except the food actually flies off the cutting board.



It's not just "not-falling with style". Sauces explode from the inside of a crusty, noodley shell, meat buns of gold "laugh" in the holder's face, and falling cubes of black and white tofu form into the image of the endangered panda. This show aims to please as it not only draws you in with its visuals, it also educates the viewer with how to handle food, the consequences and rewards of the cooking process, how crab tastes from good to bad, and it'll just make you hungry.

There is also a recurring joke throughout the series, though not an intentional joke. As judges taste the food, they react in a way you think they hate it, but that jolt of electricity that passes through there skulls, is just the beginning of the show's exaggerated visualization of food tickling one's taste buds, followed by a brief explanation on how it was good over a heavenly background. Because episodes are not available on youtube, I've decided to use my professional artistic skills to dramaticize the aforementioned scene. So eat your heart out Pat Henzy!! @.@














So.........yeah.....that's what...happens.........yyyep...


Anyway, of all the foods they cook, some you know, some you don't, there isn't an episode about orange chicken or sweet-and-sour pork. And there are so many ways and ingredients to make those. But oh well, everything else they cook is just as good.

Legend of the Swordmaster
Yaiba

9 April 1993 - 1 April 1994



A young, jungle-dwelling little boy is a samurai-in-training under the hand of his father. One day, Yaiba is attacked by a group of giant gorillas and is able to defeat them all at once. Kenjurou, his father, notices this and decides that his son Yaiba is now ready to face the world beyond the jungle. He is sent to live with the family of Kenjurou's old friend/rival. Later, Yaiba challenges a gifted, young kendo student and the battle results in a draw. Takeshi Onimaru, the aforementioned student, trains harder and eventually finds a hidden basement. Inside it happen to be the statues of the Thunder and Wind God holding a sacred sword. Taking the Devil Wind's sword, he becomes corrupted by its evil aura and becomes a demon himself.



Yaiba discovers this and sets out to retrieve the missing Thunder God sword, which was guarded by the 400-year old Musashi Miyamoto. Yaiba and Takeshi also learn about the seven divine orbs, each giving their own special power when inserted into any of the two swords. They either possess the ability to cast fire, ice, water, thunder, etc. And if all seven are collected, they will lead the successor to the Orb of the Dragon God. But the story doesn't end there. After obtaining said orb, invaders of a not-so distant planet seek world domination as well. And with the help of Yaiba's friends, and enemies, they embark on adventures they will never forget.



Ahhhhhhhh where do I start? I'll just say that this show is awesome. It was the first anime I've discovered in the Philippines which was also a stepping stone in my interest in anime. Like many old shows, it has a lot of blood, violence, comedy and scenes that'll make you cry.

I remember the good ol' days of VHS, where you could only tape shows as long as it was tuned into that said channel so you couldn't change it (depending on the setup), how we'd run out of tape and how our VCR would break down from...my over-use. But thanks to it, I've pretty much seen every episode of this show and watched it over and over. But the network on which it was aired, never finished it probably due to its constant, unsupervised changes in schedule.

RAMBLING ALERT!! AAAAAAAAHHH!!


I must also mention that the local channels there seemed to prioritize their original programming and news reports, over syndicated shows.


Channels like ABS-CBN would cut off anime endings in the middle, and air an anime or other late since they're news programs don't have a damn time limit, or their damn soap operas just won't end for crying out loud. And the commercials...were so...LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.



I'm pretty sure it still happens to this day but I wouldn't know. But ABC5, the network that aired the show, was never that stingy.

The show lasted 50 episodes, with only a few manga arcs left un-animated. 50 episodes of pure action, with all those orb abilities, special techniques, numerous bad guy(s) of the day/month, hilarity at just the right moments, and awesome opening/closing themes kept me hooked for a long time. And you probably noticed by now, with a burning question in your mind, Yes the guy who made this show also made Kaito Kid, as well as Detective Conan/Cased Closed. In my opinion, that show would never match up to this. I don't care HOW many episodes it has, and how many murders were solved, it's repetition (based on the episodes aired on Adult Swim) would never match up with Yaiba's more flexible presentation. Kaito Kid? Oh I have yet to see it, honestly. Speaking of which, there's also an OVA that featured all three continuities in one setting.

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So there you have it. That's every show I could possibly remember. Watching these have led to my obsession to these constantly overrated, overhyped animated pieces from Japan. But I'm still more fascinated with American animation. Why these were/are never picked up in favor of others, is a mystery to me. However, it's also a good thing as no companies will ever try to take it and butcher it like they did to many others...even though it'd help a little since it would encourage users to upload fansubbed versions on Youtube..........but oh well.


So 'til next time folks...