Quarter Machine Bliss

Hello readers of RetroJunk! I have taken quite a liking to writing articles for your enjoyment. I now want to take you on a very special voyage back to my childhood...So let me adjust the Flux Capacitor to one point twenty-one jiggawatts...Hang on and enjoy!



We all have experienced the scenario before. Your at a Toy store or drug store and after subduing your parents into getting you either that way too sugary cereal or way too violent toy you want to see how far they will bend. At the checkout you managed to persuade your mother to get you a Hotwheel. You really didn't want it, you just wanted to see if it was possible. Now that you think you got your mother in your grip you plan one last attempt at getting something, anything. Then there, by the exit you see it! The Toy vending machines. So many choices, you have only one quarter but on what should you spend it on? First lets take a look at the Bouncy Balls...


Bouncy Balls are great fun. But Bouncy balls are quick fun. These silicone injected babies are great for high flying antics. But the average kid has it for about 37 seconds before it bounces into oblivion. A fun game to play with bouncy balls is where you and a friend are in a small room with a hardfloor like the bathroom. You take the bouncy ball and throw it with all you might at the floor and watch it ricochet off the walls and hope ypu don't get nailed. But what other choices are there besides balls? How about a visit from outer space?

I think Alien figures are relatively new. These guys though make up for their small stature with a fierce fighting spirit and who better to have at it with than Ninjas!


Hours of fun could be had with these little guys. Once the novelty of them wore of you could have one last hurrah by making them walk the plank into your garbage disposal or incinerate them in your microwave.

The next item to be seen is one of my favorites...The Paratrooper!!!

These were great, especially if you were in a multi storied mall and you could drop them on unsuspecting shoppers. Sadly though many were lost in the line of duty...

Another favorite of mine were those creepy monster faced rubber finger puppets. they were great if managed to get one for every finger. They were great for passing away a long day at school by having a puppet show on the edge of your desk. Though they were quickly confiscated by the teacher who probably had a whole army of them in her desk.

I would like to shake the hand of the genious who invented Stickyhands.

These were great for non lethal attacks on a younger sibling. A well aimed flick could leave a nice welt on your little brothers face. But you had to take care of your Sticky Hand because it would pick up dirt and rocks and become useless very quickly.

One had to exercise caution when making an informed purchase at the quarter machines. Vendors used sneaky tactics like putting rare and exotic pieces like ringwatches on the front displays to lure you into dumping a piggy banks worth of change to get those items. But those things were probably not in the machine anyways.Now suppose you decided not to get a toy at the Quater machine but instead were feeling a little hungry. Depending on the store you were at there could be some pretty extravagent Machines that had everything from toys to stickers. take for example this
Deluxe 8 item model...

You were lucky if you ever ran across one of those. They were mostly found in childhood mecas like Toys "R" Us. Most of the time though there were much more modest contraptions like this one...

Moving away from the toys you look at what sweet delicacies are to be had. There were the tasty French Peanutes...

Or if your were more in the mood for something more healthy you could sample some delicious bananas...

Just as you are about to plop in your money something catches your eye. Stickers! not just any stickers now. These are big and flashy ones. If you were in my time you might remember these beauties!

But today the stickers are a little more suited to mature persons as they contain almost gang affiliated material as shown below;


Well you decide you have spent long enough making a decision and you put in your quarter and are now the proud recipient of flashy sticker.

I must say I most thoroughly enjoyed writing this and hoped you enjoyed reading it. Quarter machines are still around today if you know where to look. Their popularity has declined but a few years back a revival came in the form Of Homies...

Well I must be going now and hope you all are now just a little more in touch with your inner child. Goodbye and until next time...