Return of the Wall Walkers
Wall Walkers are back and in more shapes and sizes than ever!
Wall Walkers are back! But these days elastomer octopi they're not. These wall walkers have plastic bodies and sticky nodule hands. They no longer take 5¢ to make and now cost upwards of $1. They are also no longer "wacky" and some aren't even "wall walkers." Certainly not the squishy little demons of yesteryear.
The good thing about the new breed of walkers is they come in a variety of shapes and even licensed characters. If you search on wholesale sites for what they now call Slime Walkers, you'll get an array of insects, ninjas, and even little Halloween pumpkins.
One of the problems that has always been present in Wall Walkers is how after a few uses they get dirty and only "walk" a few steps before falling down like a drunken frat boy. There is a simple solution to this problem. If you simply massage your walker in a bath of warm, soapy water and allow him to air dry it will regain some of its sticky glory. But we don't have time to wait for our walkers to sit and dry, we want to play with them NOW!! Easy solution....
This pretty little Spongebob Wall Walker was picked up at Wal-Mart for the ripe price of 94¢. Less than the cost of a KFC Snacker and about 5x more fun. Though I wouldn't suggest eating the Wall Walker for lunch. Stick with your 25¢ Cup Ramen if you're looking for something slightly easier to digest.
(<a href="http://www.retrojunk.com/img/art-images/retro-sponge.wmv" target="_blank">Download the video</a>)
Spongebob WalkerPants comes securely packaged and is suggested that you return him to packaging for proper storage. I tested this little guy out on several walls, and even the refrigerator. He did leave little pawprints all the way down the fridge which I had to wipe off before my mother found out what I was up to. I cause my mother to raise her eyebrow often enough as it is. In my youth my family referred to me as "The Sneaker" as I was always sneaking around and up to no good. I've managed to nearly burn the house down and filled it with unusual scents more times than I'll confess to.
Needless to say, the more times I walked Spongebob the more haphazard the walks became. Eventually his nodules became so lint filled that he barely stuck to the wall. I washed and dried him, and VIOLA! Back to like-new condition-walking down walls like a pro. Because of the hard plastic body I wouldn't suggest tossing him against the wall lest you really don't care about what you might break en route. Tis better to attach his body point-blank. There are still cheap sticky men you can purchase if you enjoy splatting them against your wall.
There are advantages to this new breed of wall walkers not being sticky all over. The figures of Spongebob and Dora will have greater appeal to this generation. Besides, if these came in Ninja Turtles and My Little Ponies back in the 80's, we'd have stepped over the octopi to get our hands on Wacky Walking Michelangelo instead.
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