Maybe its something in the water...

A comparison of 80s toys being re-marketed today. Ever notice whats happened to some of your favorites?

Maybe it’s something in the water….

A comparison of 80s toys being re-marketed today

While browsing through the toy section of any store you are most likely going to bump into some familiar favorites of the past. Recently this has been occurring more and more with what are now considered “classic” toys and cartoon characters of the 80s and even the early 90s. Look around- “there’s the care bears!” “Oh, my little pony!” “He-man” and “that’s…wait, what the hell? This chick is supposed to be strawberry shortcake?!” It seems although it’s an obvious choice that when bringing back an old product that they re-vamp it for a new audience of today’s kids, something is still a bit off


remember when polly used to fit in your pocket?


Maybe it was the smooze from my little pony, maybe it was that toxic “dip” from roger rabbit, could’ve even been the evil Dr. Claw from inspector gadget and I wouldn’t put it past that peculiar purple pie man of porcupine peak. Whatever did it what I can’t help noticing is that somehow most of these new looks bare no resemblance to the character they are trying to capture. As noticeable with nearly all animation and drawings today that aren’t computer generated, they seem to have distorted over-exaggerated features that are a little too cartoon-y. Is it something in the water? The disappearance of brain cells? Why must these re-drawn versions of characters be so unrealistic? Do the companies today need to make things so boisterously over the top to market to kids that the human elements of characters don’t even look like people? It feels like they’re screaming when we look at them… “LOOK!! I’m a cartoon pony, with eyes bulging out the side of my head! You must LOOK!” at least the drawings of the old ponies looked semi-proportionate.


I don’t really see why it’s entirely necessary to distort things that would probably be just as commercially successful as they once were. Not only would you capture a new audience but all the old fans would reminisce about it and potentially buy the product too. (although I shouldn’t talk so much…I have been guilty in investing in one of those new-fangled ponies…it was just too cute. I gave in.) I guess the bottom line of what I’m trying to say here is that it worries me how attention grabbing all these characters are. All their curvy lines, gigantic eyes, over-sized heads and slutty looking makeup (see sky-dancers).
“Look I’m strawberry shortcake who lives in a cake made of strawberries!” “Look I’m a girl with a gigantic head and a strawberry on my hat, but that’s all beside the point!”

Anyone beginning to see a pattern here?

Are today’s kids so busy and distracted that the need all of that to grab they’re attention and take notice? It’s a different world now full of 3-d, in your face great big stuff and suffering animation styles that have now become victims of it all. What has happened to the days when a kid could turn on the tv or buy a toy that looked to some extent something that could potentially belong to society….

Other Victims....
pretty
scary

aww...cute, cuddly care bears! always there to teach us a lesson

But do we really need an "america cares" bear?

Trust me the only thing this bear should be caring about is the fact that it looks like its head is gonna explode!
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Comments
    Arcee23 Posted 5 years 2 months ago
    I see what your trying to say with the whole deformed look of todays toys, it seems to be more prominent in girls toys, I think Bratz are to blame, those filthy whores of the toy world. But I cant help thinking, as much as I love it, the rise of popularity of anime after the Pokemon craze might be partly to blame, with toy companies thinking "Oh the kids love all this Japanimation stuff, lets make our toy look simalar", considering anime in kids TV was around way before Pokemon.
    MommaToAnAngel Posted 5 years 11 months ago
    I can't beleive you only have a two! this was a fine article, only a bit short. but you got your point across in the pictures. i would not have recognized the sky dancers! they look like bratz!!! [if you read my article "the fall of the barbie empire" you know how i feel about bratz!] ugh, i would not buy my daughter ay of this new remade crap. EXCEPT the my little ponies. LOVE those stuffed cuddley ponies for toddlers!
    ducktalesfan1977 Posted 5 years 11 months ago
    Yeah, what the fuck is up with all of the 80s toy remakes? They all suck, originals all the way.
    imissthe90s Posted 6 years 20 days ago
    polly pocket was so small that i lost her once lol. great article.:)
    Dollierot Posted 6 years 5 months ago
    they're destroying all our fav things these days...why do people have to slutify everything ? everything is so bloody teeny bopper-ish these days..i prefer the ol my ponies but like u i gave in an bought myself minty the singing ..pony..lol..but i hate what they did to strawberry shortcake an have you seen what they did to the trolls?
    swift heart Posted 6 years 9 months ago
    thank you rainbowgirl i hate the blue champ how annory funshine got wish bears voice and why is tender heart little more then a backround bear?

    first let go the new bears do your best bear take care bear? its lame at best after there gone bring back true heart noble all the cousins but feel free to leave out playful and hugs and tugs have to come back too last draw it care bears dosent look right as cgi do us a favor keep something cartoon everything dosent have to be anime and cgi
    marioandyoshi96 Posted 7 years 2 months ago
    All of a sudden I have a craving for ice cream and strawberries.
    RetroSeaside Posted 7 years 4 months ago
    Don't forget the Trollz. *shudder*
    jaymanchu Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    Have you seen the new line of Trolls? Trolls for God's sakes now look like they should be hanging out on street corners!! I think they've gotten the worst of the millenium makeovers.

    I can understand that the marketing department thought it necesary to revamp some toys. (Star Wars figures IMHO look much better than the ones I played with, I didn't realize it until I went to a Flee Market and saw the 70's ones next to the new figures) Not only does it give our beloved toys a fresh new look, but toy dealers and collectors can easily distinguish between a Vintage Strawberry Shortcake and a 2005 Strawberry Shortcake.
    Noid13 Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    My beloved TMNT's have befallen the same problems.

    My wife and I were walking through Target the other night, and came across the TMNT toys. None of them even resembled the originals, short of the fact that they were green and had colored head bands.

    Hell, April doesn't even look like April anymore!

    WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?!?
    Won't someone think of the children?
    jemgirl86 Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    I totally agree with that whole 20 years thing. It makes perfect sense...unfortunatley sometimes it doesn't work out so well lol.
    eep! Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    well, what I meant…every 20 years entertainment repeats itself…in some shape or form.
    eep! Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    Well, what sold the best were 80’s toys. Who the hell wants to play with tinker toys from the 50’s and early 60’s? the late 70’s and decade of the 80’s were insanely bright coloured days of new growth for children and possibilities again became endless with ideas flowing out and cash flowing in fast . The 90’s tried its best to mark an end to these bits and pieces and salvage a darker more sophisticated feel to toys and other forms of entertainment (for the early teen & teen generation). Besides this, remembering how clear this outburst of solidarity between companies on the idea of marketing gloomy entertainment, this was a decade of children as well. So many children’s shows had flourished and many of them strayed away from 70’s & 80’s topics and became more real. My girlfriend and I have a theory of industrial 20 year change. 1960/1980: total chaos with clothing and uprising of entertainment and strange music. 1970/1990: utter confusion, oddly dressed individuals, yet defiant music (70’s punk and 90’s grunge). 1980/2000: repeat and rinse etc. we will repeat over and over. Don’t be surprised if in 2010, toys from the 1990’s return. =D
    DieYuppieScum Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    Well kids, it looks like we have hit that part on our lives that we swore would never come to pass and stated that the dreaded words would ever escape our lips..... "they just don't make things like they use to."
    Krispy the Kritter Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    I soooooooooo agree...thank you..ive ben thinking this for a while
    mr3urious Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    Polly Pocket looks so slutty these days.
    MasterAsh Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    Egods, I didn't even know about America Cares Bear. Makes me want to go all Louis Black on it, but I'll get over it.

    I agree with the near literal whoring-out of old girl-oriented franchises. I like to think that art imitates life more than life imitates art, but stuff like this makes me almost fearful at what girls may become if they don't (or can't) move beyond the glam and skin of today's toys.
    Barth Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    Coming soon: The "All other countries don't give a rats ass" bear
    Daikun Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    I hate how the remakes of most classic characters of popular female icons look nowadays. Compared to yesteryear, they look freaking HIDEOUS now.

    And yet the male-oriented toys (TMNT, He-Man, Transformers, etc.) actually look pretty decent, despite them having crappy commercials.

    Sexism in the industry? Hm... It makes you ponder...
    Daniel85 Posted 7 years 5 months ago
    Hey, that last Care Bear looks like Brian Peppers!
    Score:
    2
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