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  • Trapper: "You know somethin'? You're a slob. A slob. A real slob!"

    Hawkeye: "I'm a slob?"

    Trapper: "Yeah."

    Hawkeye: "Whose toenails are always under my bed with nobody in 'em?"

    Trapper: "They jump when I cut 'em."

    Hawkeye: "Point your feet out the door."
  • M*A*S*H